Well, I have done it again. It seems miraculous! I'm down 1.2 lbs this week to make me a not-so-obese 224.2. Victory! In case you've forgotten, my mini-goal is to be under 220 for our May vacation. This gives me 20 days to lose 4.3 lbs, which is just about 1.5 lbs a week. It's a tall order, but not unreasonable, so I hope I can make it.
Now onto the good stuff...
Today I did something that I have never done. Never. Never ever, as in, never in my whole life. Are you ready?
I threw away half of a brownie.
I know, folks...I know. Try to breathe. Breeeeeathe.
Here's what happened. I had an awesome day today for reasons I can't quite go into yet lest it backfire on me. But anyway, it was a good day. So what did I do? Well, I decided that I was going to give myself a food treat. (Which, by the way, I think is perfectly, perfectly acceptable. It's no more damaging to treat yourself with a cookie than it is to treat yourself with a massage. I just don't see food as my enemy anymore.) I went to a Borders that was by the spa where I get my pedicures - another exciting part of my day. I LOVE my monthly pedicures! I planned on reading, but I definitely wanted a chocolate-y pastry of some sort first.
When I got up to the register, the brownies looked more chocolate-y and yummier than the cookies, so I went with that. Oh, but before I go into my brownie experience, let me tell you what I witnessed. There was a very homely, kind of wreck-y, older woman in front of me ordering a latte. The boy at the counter asked if she wanted regular or sugar-free syrup. The woman contemplated this for a moment and then, with a huge sigh, said mournfully, "Ohhhh...I'll go with regular........" And kind of trailed off. It was so weird. Then he asked if she wanted full-fat, 2%, or skim milk. She did the same sigh and again in a said, forlorn voice, said, "Ohhhhh....full-fat, I guess......" Pause. "Sometimes you just have to go all the way to get the flavor...." Sigh. It was like listening to Eeyore. Seriously. Just order your sugary, fatty drink and own it. Period. If you want it, you want it. Just drink it. If you feel that guilty about it, then don't. It'll just torture you later. And don't make excuses for what's going in your mouth to perfect strangers. That's a sure sign you're going to hate yourself in about 15 minutes when all that's left are the crumbs.
So ANYWAY. I marched up to the couter and said, "I want that brownie right there," and I pointed to the one that was the biggest and had the most chocolate chunks in the top. When the boy gave me my bag I was pleased to feel the heft - this was going to be a spectacular brownie.
I went and found a chair in a quiet corner where I could enjoy my newly-purchased yumminess and read a magazine. The first thing I noticed when I took the brownie out of the bag was that it was slippery. That might gross some people out, but to me, slippery = buttery, so I was excited. (Hey, I like butter. I was almost 300 pounds last year...of course I like butter.) I couldn't wait to bite into it and get a buttery, chunky mouthful.
Well.
What I got was a lard-y, completely unchunky mouthful. Those chocolate "chunks" on top were deceiving because they were paper thin, and that brownie tasted like goddamn Crisco. I took one more bite to make sure my mouth wasn't playing a trick on me; when I got that lard taste again, I knew I had to stop.
But here's what's weird. A few months ago I would have just kept eating that brownie, lard or not. I would've justified it by telling myself I paid for it, so I shouldn't waste it. (A whopping $2.09!!! *GASP* There are starving children in China! Whatever. It's two bucks, not a life's fortune.) I would've eaten the whole damn thing, and then afterward I would have been totally and completely disgusted. I would have been full of Crisco and I would have hated myself, but I still would have eaten it. Because that's what food addicts do - we eat food that's dropped on the floor, that's too salty, that's too bland, that's too cold, that's too hot. We have no discrimination whatsoever. It's food? Then it belongs in our stomachs. Period.
Not anymore, folks. Because I threw away half a brownie today.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Almost Forgot!
Friday came and went and I forgot to post the results of my weigh-in! I am down to 225.4; that's 72.8 lbs down from my high weight of 298.2 Ain't that some sh*t.
You know, it's funny...I never realized how crappy I felt when I weighed that much. I didn't notice it until after I'd lost about 30 pounds. Then I kept thinking to myself, Good Lord...you were a mess.
I couldn't walk up the stairs without getting winded or having the muscles in my legs hurt. I'm not talking about a lot of steps, either - I'm talking about the 15 or so that are in our house. At one of the hospitals where I worked, there was a shuttle to take you from the parking lot to the hospital entrance. I took that shuttle every day. I would wait 15 minutes for it if I had to but I certainly wouldn't think of walking, because if I did I would be sweaty by the time I got to the door, even if it was 50 degrees out. Now when I'm at work (at a different facility), and the guy in the tram stops as I'm walking to the door - a good 10-minute walk, by the way - I tell him, "No, it's okay, I'll walk." And I'm so grateful for the exercise and the fresh air, and I'm so happy that my body can do it. It's as if I know that I can do it, so I should. And that's so awesome.
Some of my shoes used to hurt my feet. I told myself that they were lousy shoes, but really it was just that either 1) my feet had gotten too chunky for them or 2) there was just too much damn weight pressing down to wear those shoes and be comfortable. Try teetering around on 3.5-inch Kate Spade high heels when you're almost 300 pounds. The heels of those shoes are tiny little areas...I don't think they're meant to support that much weight. I'm picturing a stick trying to support a boulder... I wonder why they didn't snap in half. (Now they feel wonderful. You get what you pay for!)
I had a bag of clothes I was going to donate, and I added to the bag weekly. Shirts that were too short, too small, too "tuggy", or "just not right anymore". I kept marveling over how they'd all shrunk in the dryer somehow, despite the fact that I'd been washing and drying them for months. But all of a sudden they shrunk. Of course. That had to be it, because it definitely couldn't have been the fact that I was just too fat to wear them anymore.
The lies we tell ourselves...man. We're so self-protective sometimes that it's astonishing. Anyone on the outside would be saying, "Psst, Nicole...the reason you can't fit into that large t-shirt is because you weigh 300 pounds. You need an extra large, darling." But I was saying, "No, really! Gap is just making their clothes smaller!!!"
Amazing.
Happy weekend!!! :D
You know, it's funny...I never realized how crappy I felt when I weighed that much. I didn't notice it until after I'd lost about 30 pounds. Then I kept thinking to myself, Good Lord...you were a mess.
I couldn't walk up the stairs without getting winded or having the muscles in my legs hurt. I'm not talking about a lot of steps, either - I'm talking about the 15 or so that are in our house. At one of the hospitals where I worked, there was a shuttle to take you from the parking lot to the hospital entrance. I took that shuttle every day. I would wait 15 minutes for it if I had to but I certainly wouldn't think of walking, because if I did I would be sweaty by the time I got to the door, even if it was 50 degrees out. Now when I'm at work (at a different facility), and the guy in the tram stops as I'm walking to the door - a good 10-minute walk, by the way - I tell him, "No, it's okay, I'll walk." And I'm so grateful for the exercise and the fresh air, and I'm so happy that my body can do it. It's as if I know that I can do it, so I should. And that's so awesome.
Some of my shoes used to hurt my feet. I told myself that they were lousy shoes, but really it was just that either 1) my feet had gotten too chunky for them or 2) there was just too much damn weight pressing down to wear those shoes and be comfortable. Try teetering around on 3.5-inch Kate Spade high heels when you're almost 300 pounds. The heels of those shoes are tiny little areas...I don't think they're meant to support that much weight. I'm picturing a stick trying to support a boulder... I wonder why they didn't snap in half. (Now they feel wonderful. You get what you pay for!)
I had a bag of clothes I was going to donate, and I added to the bag weekly. Shirts that were too short, too small, too "tuggy", or "just not right anymore". I kept marveling over how they'd all shrunk in the dryer somehow, despite the fact that I'd been washing and drying them for months. But all of a sudden they shrunk. Of course. That had to be it, because it definitely couldn't have been the fact that I was just too fat to wear them anymore.
The lies we tell ourselves...man. We're so self-protective sometimes that it's astonishing. Anyone on the outside would be saying, "Psst, Nicole...the reason you can't fit into that large t-shirt is because you weigh 300 pounds. You need an extra large, darling." But I was saying, "No, really! Gap is just making their clothes smaller!!!"
Amazing.
Happy weekend!!! :D
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The Ugly Truth
I can't lie to you. I am HUNGRY today. I woke up hungry, which is really not something I ever do. I usually wake up just wanting coffee, and the whole breakfast thing doesn't even hit me until about 2 hours later. But today I woke up with a growling stomach. Like, for real.
I'm trying to figure out why but I haven't so far. Hubs and I did go out for dinner last night, and I did leave stuffed, which didn't make me all that happy. But no matter, it's just one meal. The point is, usually when I've had a big dinner I'm even less hungry for breakfast the next day.
Could it be because it's that time of the month? Sure, I suppose. Happens to a lot of women. It has not, however, been something that typically happens to me. I'll find myself wanting certain kinds foods more, like salty things, but I'm not really hungrier. Today though, the hunger is not my friend.
Despite this, I've done very well. I even came home and ran for 30 minutes even though I detested the idea. I had a yummy Purple Monster after working out, and I've got an Amy's Vegetable Lasagna in the oven right now that will be done in 30 minutes. (Our microwave is being shipped. Hallelujah!) This is all wonderful, so let me not tell you that there were maybe two handfuls of sour cream and onion chips (loaded with MSG) in the pantry, and they were screaming my name so loud I thought I was psychotic, so I ate them. Let me not tell you that. It's not going to ruin my day - I keep my calorie count from 1200-1500, and I will end up closer to 1500 today than 1200. So it's not going to kill me. But that behavior...that stupid, instant gratification kind of behavior...I've got work to do.
Damn you, addicted brain!!! Damn you!
(Happy Wednesday!)
------------------------------------------------
The lovely and successful Barbara over at The Pound-a-Week blog was kind enough to comment on my before and after photos. You're super sweet, Barbara. :) Thank you!!! And I'm glad you like it over here in my tiny little blog world, because I like it in yours as well. Thanks for the feel-good comment...you motivated me to post today!
I'm trying to figure out why but I haven't so far. Hubs and I did go out for dinner last night, and I did leave stuffed, which didn't make me all that happy. But no matter, it's just one meal. The point is, usually when I've had a big dinner I'm even less hungry for breakfast the next day.
Could it be because it's that time of the month? Sure, I suppose. Happens to a lot of women. It has not, however, been something that typically happens to me. I'll find myself wanting certain kinds foods more, like salty things, but I'm not really hungrier. Today though, the hunger is not my friend.
Despite this, I've done very well. I even came home and ran for 30 minutes even though I detested the idea. I had a yummy Purple Monster after working out, and I've got an Amy's Vegetable Lasagna in the oven right now that will be done in 30 minutes. (Our microwave is being shipped. Hallelujah!) This is all wonderful, so let me not tell you that there were maybe two handfuls of sour cream and onion chips (loaded with MSG) in the pantry, and they were screaming my name so loud I thought I was psychotic, so I ate them. Let me not tell you that. It's not going to ruin my day - I keep my calorie count from 1200-1500, and I will end up closer to 1500 today than 1200. So it's not going to kill me. But that behavior...that stupid, instant gratification kind of behavior...I've got work to do.
Damn you, addicted brain!!! Damn you!
(Happy Wednesday!)
------------------------------------------------
The lovely and successful Barbara over at The Pound-a-Week blog was kind enough to comment on my before and after photos. You're super sweet, Barbara. :) Thank you!!! And I'm glad you like it over here in my tiny little blog world, because I like it in yours as well. Thanks for the feel-good comment...you motivated me to post today!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Before and After
Okay...before I post these, I just have to say that I can't believe these hideous pictures of me are going to be floating around in cyberspace. LOL I don't think this post needs a whole lots of words, because the pictures surely speak for themselves.
Before:
This picture was actually taken AFTER I started my diet. I think I was about 265 here - July 2009. I almost barfed when I saw this picture. LOL
These pictures were taken 7 months earlier on Christmas Eve, 2008. I was tipping the scales at 298 here, and I'm sure I floated over into the 300 range at some point.
Do you love my fat arm? LOL I've had 4 links taken out of my watch since then.
And that's my beautiful sister with me, though she looks much more foxy today. She's very rock and roll!
And here's the after, at 227.2:
The first three photos are very similar, but I liked them all for different reasons. The first one I liked because it shows my almost-skinny arm holding the camera. LOL The second one I liked because it shows my much skinnier (and stronger!) legs. And the last one shows my great boobs, but the picture quality takes away from that a bit. ;) I had to take them all myself because Hubs wasn't around, so I'm sorry they couldn't be better! I'll have to get some newer ones soon. Definitely when we go on vacation next month - and I have a new mini-goal to be under 220 by then. :)
The last picture was taken maybe 2 or 3 months ago, but there was only a few pounds difference. I thought it was a good pic to show that my face isn't nearly as disgustingly chubbly as it used to be! LOL
Oh, and you know what's awesome? I showed Hubs those before pictures of me, most notably the one of my in the bathing suit. I blew it up really big on my computer too. LOL And you know what he said?
"That's okay, you still looked nice. And look at your boobs!"
While the last comment may be very typical for a man, the first comment is the one that speaks volumes about my husband. He is accepting of so much, and he looks so much deeper than just the physical. And he's gorgeous!!! I think I'll keep him. ;)
4 links out of my watch, 6 inches off the waist of all of my pants, and 4 notches over on my belt. I'm doing okay. :)
Happy weekend!
Before:
This picture was actually taken AFTER I started my diet. I think I was about 265 here - July 2009. I almost barfed when I saw this picture. LOL
These pictures were taken 7 months earlier on Christmas Eve, 2008. I was tipping the scales at 298 here, and I'm sure I floated over into the 300 range at some point.
Do you love my fat arm? LOL I've had 4 links taken out of my watch since then.
And that's my beautiful sister with me, though she looks much more foxy today. She's very rock and roll!
And here's the after, at 227.2:
The last picture was taken maybe 2 or 3 months ago, but there was only a few pounds difference. I thought it was a good pic to show that my face isn't nearly as disgustingly chubbly as it used to be! LOL
Oh, and you know what's awesome? I showed Hubs those before pictures of me, most notably the one of my in the bathing suit. I blew it up really big on my computer too. LOL And you know what he said?
"That's okay, you still looked nice. And look at your boobs!"
While the last comment may be very typical for a man, the first comment is the one that speaks volumes about my husband. He is accepting of so much, and he looks so much deeper than just the physical. And he's gorgeous!!! I think I'll keep him. ;)
4 links out of my watch, 6 inches off the waist of all of my pants, and 4 notches over on my belt. I'm doing okay. :)
Happy weekend!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Lazy!
I'm lazy because I'm not putting up pictures! LOL Gosh, that's so time-consuming. Also, it's a little tough for me right now... I'm working in a state prison this month and can't take any electronics in with me, not even my cell phone. So I can't photograph anything I eat there. :( I'll have to resume next month, maybe...but I'm also thinking that I should stop posting the food I eat. It kind of takes the focus off of what this lifestyle change is supposed to be all about, because it's NOT all about the food. It's about feeling healthy and happy, and living a different life than the one I was living a year ago. I think the focus needs to be taken away from the food a little bit! With that said though, I do still record my food in the LoseIt! app on my iTouch so that I can keep track of my calories. (Calorie-counting works for me...I know some people hate it, but I love it!) And shouldn't that be enough? I'm thinking so.
In any case, I'm down to 227.2 this week! That's a 2-pound loss. I'm going to post before and after pics this weekend, so that'll be fun. ;)
Happy Friday, folks!
In any case, I'm down to 227.2 this week! That's a 2-pound loss. I'm going to post before and after pics this weekend, so that'll be fun. ;)
Happy Friday, folks!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Purple Monster
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to blog tonight! That's because I took Emily's idea for a Green Monster and tweaked it a bit and came up with a Purple Monster! I never saw a Green Monster recipe that looked appealing in any way to me until I came across Emily's. I'm not a big strawberry fan but knew I could substitute blueberries, which I love. Anyway, we'll get there. ;)
Breakfast:
Plus coffee for 225 calories. The eggs were kind of grody today...LOL Hard-boiled eggs certainly are a great protein source and they're super convenient for my commute, but they're were really nasty for me today.
Lunch was boring, but I'm working in a prison this month and it's a real pain in the ass to bring a big lunch in, so I just don't. But the bonus is that I really love these protein bars! I look forward to them...they're yummy.
My commute snack:
Okay. The Purple Monster was SO. GOOD.
1 big handful of spinach (2 cups?)
1/2 cup frozen blueberries
1 medium-sized banana
1 cup unsweetened almond milk (Wish we had the unsweetened vanilla for this, but I picked up the wrong container!)
Ice to the top of the blender
This tasted like banana and blueberry, in that order! The spinach taste was non-existent. Hubs even liked it, and listen...Hubs is WEIRD when it comes to food. He is totally, TOTALLY picky about tastes and textures. I begged him to try the Purple Monster and he took a tiny sip from my glass (only after asking what the ingredients were... ;) )...and then asked for his own! I was proud of him. :) But it also goes to show you how non-weird this tasted!
The Purple Monster has 240 calories and is extremely filling. I don't need dinner after mine, that's for sure. Maybe a snack though. ;) Today I read that only 9% of Americans get in the recommended 5-9 servings of fruits and vegetables daily. The Purple Monster has 4 by itself!
So excited to find a new food!!! And so easy and packed with nutrients.
Along with an extra coffee today, I'm at a total of 857. Eeek!!! Must have a snack tonight...a muffin, perhaps. And maybe a piece of chocolate. ;)
Goodnight!
Breakfast:
Plus coffee for 225 calories. The eggs were kind of grody today...LOL Hard-boiled eggs certainly are a great protein source and they're super convenient for my commute, but they're were really nasty for me today.
Lunch was boring, but I'm working in a prison this month and it's a real pain in the ass to bring a big lunch in, so I just don't. But the bonus is that I really love these protein bars! I look forward to them...they're yummy.
My commute snack:
Okay. The Purple Monster was SO. GOOD.
1 big handful of spinach (2 cups?)
1/2 cup frozen blueberries
1 medium-sized banana
1 cup unsweetened almond milk (Wish we had the unsweetened vanilla for this, but I picked up the wrong container!)
Ice to the top of the blender
This tasted like banana and blueberry, in that order! The spinach taste was non-existent. Hubs even liked it, and listen...Hubs is WEIRD when it comes to food. He is totally, TOTALLY picky about tastes and textures. I begged him to try the Purple Monster and he took a tiny sip from my glass (only after asking what the ingredients were... ;) )...and then asked for his own! I was proud of him. :) But it also goes to show you how non-weird this tasted!
The Purple Monster has 240 calories and is extremely filling. I don't need dinner after mine, that's for sure. Maybe a snack though. ;) Today I read that only 9% of Americans get in the recommended 5-9 servings of fruits and vegetables daily. The Purple Monster has 4 by itself!
So excited to find a new food!!! And so easy and packed with nutrients.
Along with an extra coffee today, I'm at a total of 857. Eeek!!! Must have a snack tonight...a muffin, perhaps. And maybe a piece of chocolate. ;)
Goodnight!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
It's Over Already?
In our household, the weekends fly by. Monday comes too quickly...I feel like Hubs and I just live for the weekends!
Okay, food. Today wasn't too bad, suprising given that it was a weekend day! I didn't count calories, per se, but I ate fairly well.
Breakfast was an egg white omelette with peppers, onions, broccoli, and mushrooms, and some home fries. Today was Diner Breakfast Sunday! I love diner breakfasts. This was delicious! So delicious, in fact, that I forgot to photograph it until I was almost finished. ;)
This was like God's gift to me. It really was. It was amazing. Hubs ordered some garlic knots, which I refused to partake of. Until the end of the meal, of course, when I had two very small ones. SOAKED in oil. And you know, I don't regret it, because I was satisfied like I have never been. Delicious!
I snacked on 3 or 4 Harry and David Bing Chocolate Cherries today. I may or may not have a 150-calorie sugar-free muffin tonight. We'll see how it goes.
The only reason I'm grateful for Monday is that it's SO much easier to eat a little cleaner during the week. But hey, we gotta live a little. 90/10. Friday will be fine. ;)
Goodnight all!
Okay, food. Today wasn't too bad, suprising given that it was a weekend day! I didn't count calories, per se, but I ate fairly well.
Breakfast was an egg white omelette with peppers, onions, broccoli, and mushrooms, and some home fries. Today was Diner Breakfast Sunday! I love diner breakfasts. This was delicious! So delicious, in fact, that I forgot to photograph it until I was almost finished. ;)
Lunch was a bit tougher than breakfast. A sad, sad thing happened in our lives today - the microwave broke! Hubs and I were extremely busy around the house this morning after breakfast. We cleaned out the attic a bit, I cleaned our entire bedroom (like, including dusting the mouldings...it wasn't just a little tidy job) and did like 5 loads of laundry or something stupid, and Hubs and his dad did some repairs outside on our back deck and fence. It was 1:45 when I realized I was SO ready for lunch. I was starving! Didn't even realize it. So I grabbed an Amy's Veggie Lasagna and stuck it in the microwave for 5 minutes. And after 5 minutes...it came out cold. WTF. At that point, Hubs exclaimed, "It all makes sense now! My coffee was cold after I put it in the microwave this morning for a minute."
Oh, you have got to be KIDDING me. No microwave? I don't cook! What the hell am I supposed to do? I got frantic.
"What am I going to do? I'm trying to lose weight! How am I going to lose weight if I can't make stuff in the microwave?" I was practically yelling. I must have been quite ridiculous...not having a microwave isn't the end of my eating as I know it. It's just that a fair share of what I eat is made in the microwave (steamed broccoli, any frozen things, etc.), and it would be a huge adjustment if it wasn't there. And anyway, the reason it was kind of a big deal in the first place is that we have one of those built-in microwaves. It's not just sitting on our counter where we can just replace it. Replacing our microwave is going to be a three-man job. Hubs assured me that we can get a microwave and just leave it on the counter and use it from there until his dad comes over to help us mount it. I'm scared...but I can handle it.
I decided to use the oven to heat my veggie lasagna. The only problem there is that I was STARVING, and the microwave would've taken 7 minutes as opposed to 50 in the oven. But I wanted that veggie lasagna, damn it, and I was going to have it. So I pre-heated that baby and waited.
And waited....and waited. And got hungry. And got crabby. And waited. Then the oven was pre-heated, so I set the timer for 35 minutes, stuck my food in, and waited some more.
And then I thought, "Hmmmm, I'll have a few chips."
And I did. A handful to keep me from ripping the throat out of the nearest living being.
Here's the lunch I waited so long for:
It tasted a whole lot better than it looked! It was really delicious. Hubs and I even went to the groceery store so I could buy more. (Well, we really went for diet iced tea for Hubs, but I was happy to get more of these!)
By the time dinner rolled around a few hours later, we were both exhausted. We decided to order a small pizza with no cheese, only a little bit of sauce and lots of peppers, onions, and broccoli.
This was like God's gift to me. It really was. It was amazing. Hubs ordered some garlic knots, which I refused to partake of. Until the end of the meal, of course, when I had two very small ones. SOAKED in oil. And you know, I don't regret it, because I was satisfied like I have never been. Delicious!
I snacked on 3 or 4 Harry and David Bing Chocolate Cherries today. I may or may not have a 150-calorie sugar-free muffin tonight. We'll see how it goes.
The only reason I'm grateful for Monday is that it's SO much easier to eat a little cleaner during the week. But hey, we gotta live a little. 90/10. Friday will be fine. ;)
Goodnight all!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Could Have Been Worse, Right?
Ahhhh, the weekend. A time for sleeping in, reading, relaxing, doing all the fun things you can't do during the week. Oh, and eating. If you're me.
I had great aspirations today. Hubs and I made the 90-minute commute to visit my parents, sister, and brother, and with me I brought my L.L. Bean lunchbag full of acceptable foods - a Greek yogurt, an apple, blueberries, granola, and a Kashi bar should I run into some emergency. Isn't that wonderful? Let me tell you how my day went instead.
Breakfast was a very small piece of a cheddar cheese bagel Hubs picked up on the way. I wanted to try it, so instead of trying it AND having my yogurt when I got to my parents', I decided to have a little piece for my breakfast. Good choice - it was what my body (and mind) wanted, and I was satisfied.
It was good! Worth every calorie. I'm not sure how many that would be, but I didn't do much counting today. (And hey, notice how skinny my thigh is there! Holla!)
Hubs and I were having a good time hanging out at my parents' when I started getting a little hungry around lunchtime. When we go to my parents', we ALWAYS go out for lunch. Our favorite place is a great little pizza place. That's where I wanted to go - I weighed the decision in my mind and tried to decide if I could go without feeling guilty. I decided I could, and I enjoyed lunch without feeling bad.
I decided to start out with a side salad, though no one else did, because I wanted to get in some veggies. The salad had Iceberg and Romaine lettuces, cucumbers with the skin (love that), tomatoes, and shredded carrots. I asked for balsamic vinegar and olive oil on the side and only drizzed about a half a tablespoon of oil and maybe a tablespoon of vinegar on the salad. I thought I would do the fork-dipping method, but they actually brought out glass bottles of each instead of mixing it in a little dressing thingy.
We had a thin-crust, whole wheat dough pizza, very easy on the cheese, and I had mushrooms on my pieces (more veggies!). Each piece of pizza at this place is about half the size of a normal piece of pizza elsewhere; I estimate that I had the equivalent of 3 slices of pizza. (You see, that sounds better than saying I had six of these.) I could have stopped eating about 4 pieces into it, but it was good and I didn't want to stop. Not exactly admirable.
After this, I was feeling full but not grody. Weirdly content, actually, though that's probably not healthy. Hubs, my brother, and my sister piled into Hubs' car to head back to my parents', who drove separately. Everything was fine until Hubs said, "Is there anywhere I can get some ice cream?"
Well.
Of course, Hubs. As a matter of fact, there is an amazing dairy not 15 minutes away that we just happen to LOVE going to. And while I certainly don't need the ice cream, I'll get some. And I'll go all the way.
Behold my scoop of chocolate peanut butter ice cream topped with peanut butter, hot fudge, and whipped cream. Well, you can't behold it because I forgot to photograph it before I ate it, probably because I was too excited to dive into that lovely fat pool. And what I actually photographed was my brother's empty ice cream dish. Mine still had about a half a cup of ice cream left, which I gratefully didn't force down my gullet just because it was there.
After this travesty, I declared to Hubs, "I'm so full. I'll just have a yogurt later if I get hungry and call it a day. Then today won't be so bad."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!
On the way home, Hubs decided he had to pee. In Wawa. And he also needed to get a snack. I apparently needed to pass the pastry display, and I apparently needed to buy this caramel-covered, cream-filled donut:
It was really good. I can't even lie.
So, that was all pretty disgusting. About 3 hours after all of this gluttony, I was hungry again. Of course I was - I hadn't eaten anything worth a damn. All of those high-glycemic index foods were messing up my body and my stomach felt empty. I was reaching for a piece of chocolate in our kitchen when I stopped myself and said to Hubs, "Should we just make some dinner?"
And here it is - couscous with some Moroccan sauce, chicken, and dried apricots, courtesy of Target's Archer Farms brand boxed dinners. Suprisingly, the ingredient list was short and the nutrition profile wasn't horrific. Hubs and I are big fans of Archer Farms.
That looks like an enormous amount but it's so not. It's only about a cup of couscous and maybe a half cup of the other stuff.
Oh...and I didn't exercise today.
So hey...today wasn't exactly a victory. But the nice thing was that I didn't feel completely out of control at any point. I certainly made some poor choices, but I didn't feel like I was mindlessly scarfing down food or getting into any crazy shoving-food-in-my-mouth behaviors. So tomorrow I'll be back on track, and I'll get in extra exercise to make up for what I didn't do today. And hey, 90/10 works as long as it's really 90/10 and not 70/30, 60/40, etc. I don't anticipate this ruining my weigh-in next Friday so long as I hop back on that damn wagon. ;)
Happy Saturday!
I had great aspirations today. Hubs and I made the 90-minute commute to visit my parents, sister, and brother, and with me I brought my L.L. Bean lunchbag full of acceptable foods - a Greek yogurt, an apple, blueberries, granola, and a Kashi bar should I run into some emergency. Isn't that wonderful? Let me tell you how my day went instead.
Breakfast was a very small piece of a cheddar cheese bagel Hubs picked up on the way. I wanted to try it, so instead of trying it AND having my yogurt when I got to my parents', I decided to have a little piece for my breakfast. Good choice - it was what my body (and mind) wanted, and I was satisfied.
It was good! Worth every calorie. I'm not sure how many that would be, but I didn't do much counting today. (And hey, notice how skinny my thigh is there! Holla!)
Hubs and I were having a good time hanging out at my parents' when I started getting a little hungry around lunchtime. When we go to my parents', we ALWAYS go out for lunch. Our favorite place is a great little pizza place. That's where I wanted to go - I weighed the decision in my mind and tried to decide if I could go without feeling guilty. I decided I could, and I enjoyed lunch without feeling bad.
I decided to start out with a side salad, though no one else did, because I wanted to get in some veggies. The salad had Iceberg and Romaine lettuces, cucumbers with the skin (love that), tomatoes, and shredded carrots. I asked for balsamic vinegar and olive oil on the side and only drizzed about a half a tablespoon of oil and maybe a tablespoon of vinegar on the salad. I thought I would do the fork-dipping method, but they actually brought out glass bottles of each instead of mixing it in a little dressing thingy.
We had a thin-crust, whole wheat dough pizza, very easy on the cheese, and I had mushrooms on my pieces (more veggies!). Each piece of pizza at this place is about half the size of a normal piece of pizza elsewhere; I estimate that I had the equivalent of 3 slices of pizza. (You see, that sounds better than saying I had six of these.) I could have stopped eating about 4 pieces into it, but it was good and I didn't want to stop. Not exactly admirable.
After this, I was feeling full but not grody. Weirdly content, actually, though that's probably not healthy. Hubs, my brother, and my sister piled into Hubs' car to head back to my parents', who drove separately. Everything was fine until Hubs said, "Is there anywhere I can get some ice cream?"
Well.
Of course, Hubs. As a matter of fact, there is an amazing dairy not 15 minutes away that we just happen to LOVE going to. And while I certainly don't need the ice cream, I'll get some. And I'll go all the way.
Behold my scoop of chocolate peanut butter ice cream topped with peanut butter, hot fudge, and whipped cream. Well, you can't behold it because I forgot to photograph it before I ate it, probably because I was too excited to dive into that lovely fat pool. And what I actually photographed was my brother's empty ice cream dish. Mine still had about a half a cup of ice cream left, which I gratefully didn't force down my gullet just because it was there.
After this travesty, I declared to Hubs, "I'm so full. I'll just have a yogurt later if I get hungry and call it a day. Then today won't be so bad."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!
On the way home, Hubs decided he had to pee. In Wawa. And he also needed to get a snack. I apparently needed to pass the pastry display, and I apparently needed to buy this caramel-covered, cream-filled donut:
It was really good. I can't even lie.
So, that was all pretty disgusting. About 3 hours after all of this gluttony, I was hungry again. Of course I was - I hadn't eaten anything worth a damn. All of those high-glycemic index foods were messing up my body and my stomach felt empty. I was reaching for a piece of chocolate in our kitchen when I stopped myself and said to Hubs, "Should we just make some dinner?"
And here it is - couscous with some Moroccan sauce, chicken, and dried apricots, courtesy of Target's Archer Farms brand boxed dinners. Suprisingly, the ingredient list was short and the nutrition profile wasn't horrific. Hubs and I are big fans of Archer Farms.
That looks like an enormous amount but it's so not. It's only about a cup of couscous and maybe a half cup of the other stuff.
Oh...and I didn't exercise today.
So hey...today wasn't exactly a victory. But the nice thing was that I didn't feel completely out of control at any point. I certainly made some poor choices, but I didn't feel like I was mindlessly scarfing down food or getting into any crazy shoving-food-in-my-mouth behaviors. So tomorrow I'll be back on track, and I'll get in extra exercise to make up for what I didn't do today. And hey, 90/10 works as long as it's really 90/10 and not 70/30, 60/40, etc. I don't anticipate this ruining my weigh-in next Friday so long as I hop back on that damn wagon. ;)
Happy Saturday!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Oopsy!
Well, I didn't get a chance to post yesterday evening. When you have to get up at 4:30 AM and are having a late night doing everything else under the sun, sleep takes precedence in my world. ;) But I did great yesterday, even with going out with Hubs, his parents, his brother, and his brother's wife and kids. I had an egg white omelette with peppers, onions, and mushrooms, and a side of bacon. Did you know that bacon isn't as bad as we make it out to be? Each slice only has 45 calories. Seriously, Google it! Bacon is not evil.
Today was also a good day, and I remembered to take pics of just about everything! I'd only eaten about 700 calories by the time I got home from work, but that's because Hubs and I decided to go out for dinner tonight. I was trying to plan ahead a bit by keeping the day a little light. I did NOT count my calories at dinner, but Hubs and I have agreed to one dinner and one breakfast out during the week where I can relax. Notice I didn't say "gorge". There's a big difference!
Some of the pics were taken with my camera, some with my cell phone. You'll be able to tell the difference. LOL Also, my food choices were boring and not very balanced today, and that's because of a lack of planning. Last night got away from me so quickly that by the time I realized I hadn't packed my lunch yet and it was close to 10 PM, I didn't feel like doing shit. If I'm being honest. ;)
Okay, moving on...
Breakfast today:
These are store brand organic brown eggs. I am of the opinion that Eggland's Best organic brown eggs taste better. With a coffee for 155 calories.
Lunch:
Sorry for the fuzzy photo! 270 calories and delicious.
My commute-home snack:
The cookie was just okay. Meh. Probably shouldn't have eaten it, but it was pricey enough. ;)
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The weigh-in went well!!! I was 229.2 this morning. That's a loss of 6.4 lbs since Monday! Obviously my body was very puffy. Ah well. It's gone now!
My sister is doing awesome as well. Holla!!!
Happy weekend!
Today was also a good day, and I remembered to take pics of just about everything! I'd only eaten about 700 calories by the time I got home from work, but that's because Hubs and I decided to go out for dinner tonight. I was trying to plan ahead a bit by keeping the day a little light. I did NOT count my calories at dinner, but Hubs and I have agreed to one dinner and one breakfast out during the week where I can relax. Notice I didn't say "gorge". There's a big difference!
Some of the pics were taken with my camera, some with my cell phone. You'll be able to tell the difference. LOL Also, my food choices were boring and not very balanced today, and that's because of a lack of planning. Last night got away from me so quickly that by the time I realized I hadn't packed my lunch yet and it was close to 10 PM, I didn't feel like doing shit. If I'm being honest. ;)
Okay, moving on...
Breakfast today:
These are store brand organic brown eggs. I am of the opinion that Eggland's Best organic brown eggs taste better. With a coffee for 155 calories.
Lunch:
Sorry for the fuzzy photo! 270 calories and delicious.
My commute-home snack:
Finally, a little bit of fruit! 205 calories.
(I don't know why this is centered all of a sudden, and I don't particularly care. I'm not going for beauty here.)
Dinner was GOOOOD! We had an onion blossom appetizer, and I had a salad with some dressing on the side, pulled pork, and French fries. Don't judge me, because it was good! I also had a little bit of a peanut butter cup cookie. Here's all the decadent evidence!
Hubs and I each had about a quarter of it. I salted the hell out of the last half because I kept going for little pieces of it! It was awesome.
This salad really did have more than lettuce in it. LOL I ate the good stuff before I remembered to take a picture! There was tomato, onion, and egg. I told them to hold the cheese and the croutons. Blue cheese dressing on the side, of which I used maybe half a tablespoon with the fork-dipping method.
Yummy!!! I didn't eat that bread except for one little bite. The dog got half of the pulled pork, but mama got all the French fries! ;)
The cookie was just okay. Meh. Probably shouldn't have eaten it, but it was pricey enough. ;)
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The weigh-in went well!!! I was 229.2 this morning. That's a loss of 6.4 lbs since Monday! Obviously my body was very puffy. Ah well. It's gone now!
My sister is doing awesome as well. Holla!!!
Happy weekend!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Still Getting Used to This...
I forgot to take a picture of three of my foods today! It's hard to remember sometimes when my mind is somewhere else. I have to improve on that front for sure.
Today was a good food day, but I was very hungry. I think part of it may be that I was a little under calories last night, even with my snack.
Breakfast today was 2/3 cup of non-fat, plain Fage with1/4 cup blueberries and 1/4 cup MixMyGranola, and 1 cup of melon:
I forgot to photograph the melon! I had it during a meeting at work and it completely slipped my mind. Along with coffee, breakfast was 281 calories.
I forgot to photograph lunch entirely. It was steamed broccoli, peas, mushrooms, and 1/3 cup steamed tofu with about 3/4 steamed brown rice for 358 calories.
Snacks during my commute home were an apple and one of the lemon bars that I made for Easter! Each bar was approximately 120 calories, so my snack was a total of about 197.
My pre-therapy snack (haha, seriously!) was a Clif Z Bar. Chocolate Brownie, of course!
It's a pity I didn't photograph dinner, because it was nice-looking. It was an Amy's Brown Rice and Veggie bowl with about a cup and a half of steamed broccoli. It was Le Yum! 304 calories.
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Last night's snack:
This was an absolutely delicious 1-ounce piece of Harry And David milk chocolate fudge. There was no nutritional info and I couldn't find it online, but Calorie King says a 1-ounce piece of chocolate fudge is 117 calories. Because Harry and David food tends to be a little more...oh, I don't know...sinful than the usual, I called this 200 calories.
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Tonight's snack will be another chocolate chip muffin with a bit of Brummel and Brown. I'll photograph it tonight and post it tomorrow.
That's a grand total of 1433 today. Goodnight!!!
Today was a good food day, but I was very hungry. I think part of it may be that I was a little under calories last night, even with my snack.
Breakfast today was 2/3 cup of non-fat, plain Fage with1/4 cup blueberries and 1/4 cup MixMyGranola, and 1 cup of melon:
I forgot to photograph the melon! I had it during a meeting at work and it completely slipped my mind. Along with coffee, breakfast was 281 calories.
I forgot to photograph lunch entirely. It was steamed broccoli, peas, mushrooms, and 1/3 cup steamed tofu with about 3/4 steamed brown rice for 358 calories.
Snacks during my commute home were an apple and one of the lemon bars that I made for Easter! Each bar was approximately 120 calories, so my snack was a total of about 197.
My pre-therapy snack (haha, seriously!) was a Clif Z Bar. Chocolate Brownie, of course!
It's a pity I didn't photograph dinner, because it was nice-looking. It was an Amy's Brown Rice and Veggie bowl with about a cup and a half of steamed broccoli. It was Le Yum! 304 calories.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night's snack:
This was an absolutely delicious 1-ounce piece of Harry And David milk chocolate fudge. There was no nutritional info and I couldn't find it online, but Calorie King says a 1-ounce piece of chocolate fudge is 117 calories. Because Harry and David food tends to be a little more...oh, I don't know...sinful than the usual, I called this 200 calories.
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Tonight's snack will be another chocolate chip muffin with a bit of Brummel and Brown. I'll photograph it tonight and post it tomorrow.
That's a grand total of 1433 today. Goodnight!!!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Frankenfish
Why the title? Who knows. I'm currently reading Frankenstein so that I can discuss its psychoanalytic aspects with one of my supervisors, and I had fish for dinner tonight. And I heard the term "Frankenfish" somewhere... Hubs has been referring to the book as Frankenstuff. We're so weird.
I have to give all you food bloggers credit. I don't know how you take beautiful pictures of your food all day AND get a chance to post them. That's amazing. But anyway, on with the show!
Breakfast was coffee, 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1/8 cup blueberries, and 1/4 cup of Cinnamon Omega Walnuts. I've never seen those before except at our grocery store, but they're awesome! Breakfast was 312 calories:
No, that is NOT sugar on the blueberries! They're frozen.
My noon snack was a Clif Z Chocolate Brownie bar again, which I didn't photograph. I forgot...sorry! I'm the worst blogger.
Lunch was delicious...I had a whole wheat bagel thin with a Garlic and Herb Laughing Cow wedge, 1.5 ounces of leftover Easter turkey, and pickled jalapenos, plus a little organic Gala apple. 251 calories:
When I came home, I TOTALLY snuck a bite of the carrot cake I baked! I did photograph it though, and I did calculate the calories per serving just for kicks. That was about 95 calories.
Well, I photographed the whole cake...but trust me on how much I had.
No, I did NOT eat that whole piece out of the corner! Hubs had something to do with that. ;)
Dinner was 7 ounces (!!!) of baked haddock and a cup of steamed broccoli. I honestly thought I only defrosted one 4-oz. piece of haddock, but there was a little one hiding! Rather than toss it, I just ate it. It's good for you! 241 calories:
That's just some Essence of Emeril seasoning on there. Nothing fancy!
However...let's not talk about how I dropped my dinner on the floor thought right before I ate it. I was SO disappointed, because I really wanted that fish. LOL So...I'll tell you what I did. I rinsed the fish off in hot water and threw it in the microwave for 30 more seconds to zap any nasties! LOL I did make some more broccoli though, that was easy. ;) I have no shame!!!
My snack tonight - a sugar-free chocolate chip muffin that they make in my grocery store with 1/2 tablespoon of Brummel and Brown for a total of 172 calories:
With my exercise today (I burned 224 calories running for 30 minutes according to my HRM), I've only netted 965! Eeeek! This will call for a Harry and David snack tonight. ;) I'll let you know all about it tomorrow, and I will have a picture.
Good night, all!
I have to give all you food bloggers credit. I don't know how you take beautiful pictures of your food all day AND get a chance to post them. That's amazing. But anyway, on with the show!
Breakfast was coffee, 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1/8 cup blueberries, and 1/4 cup of Cinnamon Omega Walnuts. I've never seen those before except at our grocery store, but they're awesome! Breakfast was 312 calories:
No, that is NOT sugar on the blueberries! They're frozen.
My noon snack was a Clif Z Chocolate Brownie bar again, which I didn't photograph. I forgot...sorry! I'm the worst blogger.
Lunch was delicious...I had a whole wheat bagel thin with a Garlic and Herb Laughing Cow wedge, 1.5 ounces of leftover Easter turkey, and pickled jalapenos, plus a little organic Gala apple. 251 calories:
When I came home, I TOTALLY snuck a bite of the carrot cake I baked! I did photograph it though, and I did calculate the calories per serving just for kicks. That was about 95 calories.
Well, I photographed the whole cake...but trust me on how much I had.
No, I did NOT eat that whole piece out of the corner! Hubs had something to do with that. ;)
Dinner was 7 ounces (!!!) of baked haddock and a cup of steamed broccoli. I honestly thought I only defrosted one 4-oz. piece of haddock, but there was a little one hiding! Rather than toss it, I just ate it. It's good for you! 241 calories:
That's just some Essence of Emeril seasoning on there. Nothing fancy!
However...let's not talk about how I dropped my dinner on the floor thought right before I ate it. I was SO disappointed, because I really wanted that fish. LOL So...I'll tell you what I did. I rinsed the fish off in hot water and threw it in the microwave for 30 more seconds to zap any nasties! LOL I did make some more broccoli though, that was easy. ;) I have no shame!!!
My snack tonight - a sugar-free chocolate chip muffin that they make in my grocery store with 1/2 tablespoon of Brummel and Brown for a total of 172 calories:
With my exercise today (I burned 224 calories running for 30 minutes according to my HRM), I've only netted 965! Eeeek! This will call for a Harry and David snack tonight. ;) I'll let you know all about it tomorrow, and I will have a picture.
Good night, all!
Monday, April 5, 2010
New Day, New Ideas!
Okay, folks...I've been a bad blogger. (I feel like I've said that before.) But this time I really have, and it's mostly been because I'm lazy and haven't been doing great with my lifestyle change. The truth will set you free!
No, I didn't gain all my weight back. I was 235.6 this morning after a long week of eating bad dinners. Because see, that's been my modus operandi for the last month. I blame Hubs' birthday in March, which set off this wicked cycle of me eating really, really well all day...and then calling Hubs on my way home from work and saying, "Hey Hubs, you want to meet for dinner?"
Dinner out that often is never good.
The lovely Emily over at The Hungry Loft mentioned on my blog a few weeks ago that photographing her food has really helped her. Of course, I can totally see how it would; it makes you that much more accountable for what you're eating, and I think it probably definitely makes you less likely to nibble on something in passing. You have to take a picture of it, after all, and what a hassle that is. As much as I loved the idea, however, I'm lazy. And I also know that with my commute (currently 2 hours) and the fact that I'm not eating lunch this month until my work day is over at 3:30 PM, I wouldn't be able to take nice pictures.
Really? I'm worried about the pictures? What I should be worried about is the fact that I haven't lost a pound since Christmas. As a matter of fact, I've gained 7. (Side note: I've had to tighten my belt and get another link out of my watch, however. A gal I'm friends with who lost 150 pounds says my weight is "redistributing". I hope that's true. LOL)
It was Voltaire who said, "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." Translated for me: Who the hell cares what my pictures look like? I'm not trying to become the next Annie Leibovitz. I'm trying to lose weight.
With that said, my sister and I are re-committing again (don't judge me) and are photographing our food. Don't mind my dirty counters or my scummy car seats when that's where my food is. Like I said, this isn't to impress you all. It's to keep myself accountable at a whole new level...because really, I would be ashamed if I had to photograph half a bag of MSG-laden Doritos.
To begin...
Breakfast was two hard-boiled organic eggs and a coffee:
No, I didn't gain all my weight back. I was 235.6 this morning after a long week of eating bad dinners. Because see, that's been my modus operandi for the last month. I blame Hubs' birthday in March, which set off this wicked cycle of me eating really, really well all day...and then calling Hubs on my way home from work and saying, "Hey Hubs, you want to meet for dinner?"
Dinner out that often is never good.
The lovely Emily over at The Hungry Loft mentioned on my blog a few weeks ago that photographing her food has really helped her. Of course, I can totally see how it would; it makes you that much more accountable for what you're eating, and I think it probably definitely makes you less likely to nibble on something in passing. You have to take a picture of it, after all, and what a hassle that is. As much as I loved the idea, however, I'm lazy. And I also know that with my commute (currently 2 hours) and the fact that I'm not eating lunch this month until my work day is over at 3:30 PM, I wouldn't be able to take nice pictures.
Really? I'm worried about the pictures? What I should be worried about is the fact that I haven't lost a pound since Christmas. As a matter of fact, I've gained 7. (Side note: I've had to tighten my belt and get another link out of my watch, however. A gal I'm friends with who lost 150 pounds says my weight is "redistributing". I hope that's true. LOL)
It was Voltaire who said, "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." Translated for me: Who the hell cares what my pictures look like? I'm not trying to become the next Annie Leibovitz. I'm trying to lose weight.
With that said, my sister and I are re-committing again (don't judge me) and are photographing our food. Don't mind my dirty counters or my scummy car seats when that's where my food is. Like I said, this isn't to impress you all. It's to keep myself accountable at a whole new level...because really, I would be ashamed if I had to photograph half a bag of MSG-laden Doritos.
To begin...
Breakfast was two hard-boiled organic eggs and a coffee:
No apple though! I decided to keep it for lunch. Had melon instead:
I was almost finished with it when I realized I forgot to take a picture.
Breakfast was 229 calories.
Noon snack, since I don't get a lunch break, was a Clif Z bar. Chocolate Brownie is the most awesome flavor!
When I got to my car at 3:30 this afternoon, lunch was 3 oz. leftover Easter turkey, my apple, and a pack of Trader Joe's Omega-3 Trek Mix:
Lunch was 381 calories.
Dinner! Yay for dinner. It was kind of eclectic, but I had some weird desires tonight. First, I had half a serving of my famously delicious and famously fatty broccoli casserole that I made for Easter:
And oatmeal! My oatmeal was SUPER YUMMY. It was 1/3 cup rolled oats, 1/8 cup cottage cheese, 1/4 cup of my MixMyGranola creation, and a tablespoon of Trader Joe's natural peanut butter:
Dinner was 497 calories.
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My grand total for today is 1227 thus far. I will have a little snack tonight, but I'll add it to tomorrow's entry. Also, I was going to work out tonight until I got home late after getting pulled over! Ugh...don't speed. It's bad for you. So no workout tonight, but that means there's definitely one for tomorrow.
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By the way...please go visit my sister's blog and show her some support! She's in this with me, and she's a huge source of inspiration for me.
Weigh-in is this Friday. Wish us luck!
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Update:
I decided to post my snack tonight. Hubs bought me some awesome chocolate for Easter from Harry and David's, and there's no way I giving it away! LOL I treated myself tonight to one milk chocolate-covered graham cracker for 140 calories:
This brings me to a grand total of 1367. Goodnight!!!
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