Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Food is Love

Damn, that looks good.

The whole world knows how awesome food is.  Most sane, rational people are aware that a delicious meal can turn a bad day into the best day ever.  (Or does that just happen for food addicts like me?)  If I'm in a rotten mood but know the Hubs and I are going to go for a really good dinner that night, I can get downright giddy.  Food is comforting.  Every night my sister and I talk on Yahoo Messenger.  We've been dieting together for a year now, so we've had lots of conversations about how much progress we're making, how much weight we've lost, and all the other good stuff.  Lately though, conversations have been about how GOOD "bad" food is.  Pizza, chips, ice cream, fried anything.  We say things like, "I can't wait to hit my goal weight so I can EAT."  Not meaning that we can eat whatever we want, but that we can eat a brownie sundae once in a while without agonizing over the calorie count in every spoonful.  Most of the time I don't agonize, but lately I have been.  I have been because the scale isn't freaking moving.  It's just not.  It's hovering and I'm getting pissed.  But see, food is delicious, exciting, and lovely, and it fills an anger-induced hole quicker than you can say, "Can you please pass the lard?"

Here's the truth:  I'm tired of dieting.  I don't have any desire to go back to eating the way I was prior to a year ago...I really don't.  I never again want fast food three times a day.  I never again want to eat more than one donut in a sitting.  I never again want to consume 1200 calories at breakfast alone.  I never again want to be any higher than a 14/16.  Trust me...I don't want those things, and they won't happen.  All I want to do is relax.  I know I can trust myself to eat intuitively - that's not the problem.  The dilemma for me is knowing that I can eat intuitively and most likely won't gain weight...but I won't lose it either.  And you know, I'm not ready to be done losing.  I have approximately 40 pounds to go and I want to get there.  And if I put my mind to it, I could probably be there before Christmas.  But right now???  Right now, I just want a break until we get back from vacation in 3.5 weeks.  I just want to chill the hell out.

So what am I going to do instead?  I'm probably going to go on some weird-ass mental boot camp that starts on Monday (of course).  2.5 hours of aerobic exercise a week, 1300-1400 calories a day. 

In the meantime, I'm going to have some more water.  Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!


laura said...

I bet your body is doing the same thing mine did this past fall... it got used to the calorie intake and burn and decided to stop. I took a break for too long (1/2 of November, all of December & January)- but the good news is that when I got on the scale on 2/1 - it was the EXACT same 234 that it was the last time I stepped on it on 11/19... and that is with a LOT of holiday binging, depression relieving bags of microwave popcorn, and cans and cans of shame spoons. So my metabolism did what it's supposed to for 2.5 months and then when I got back on track in February - the pounds started falling off. So take a break... just not for too long.

Barbara said...

Maybe it's contagious and I caught HWS (Hovering Weight Syndrome) from you? Or you caught it from me. I feel like I'm eating the absolute minimum and SHOULD be dropping 12 pounds a week.

Damn, this is hard.

I'm with you on the water part, but I'll pass on the aerobic exercise. Maybe, just maybe, I'll walk to the end of the block and back, but that's it.

I hope Laura is right about our metabolism kicking in eventually.

Sorry ... I meant to encourage you instead of having a pity party. Have a great vacation and you'll feel much better!

Jessica said...

I started a blog to address just some of the same issues you discuss here. I'd love if you came to visit, brought up a subject you'd like to discuss or have me research, or just let me know what you think. This is a place for everyone who is sick of cutting things out,a nd wants to think about adding in what is healthy and progressive behavior.

LABleedsBlue said...

Ugh, my body is doing the same thing. I'm tired of always being "on" a diet. It's been about 3 years that I've been complaining and trying to watch what I eat (obviously these only stick for about 2 weeks at a time). I wish I could be one of those skinny girls that can eat and drink all she wants and doesn't gain a pound. Ridiculous and unfair.

I hope you're having a good start to the week! How was dinner? Please tell me about the delicious food!