Damn, that looks good.
The whole world knows how awesome food is. Most sane, rational people are aware that a delicious meal can turn a bad day into the best day ever. (Or does that just happen for food addicts like me?) If I'm in a rotten mood but know the Hubs and I are going to go for a really good dinner that night, I can get downright giddy. Food is comforting. Every night my sister and I talk on Yahoo Messenger. We've been dieting together for a year now, so we've had lots of conversations about how much progress we're making, how much weight we've lost, and all the other good stuff. Lately though, conversations have been about how GOOD "bad" food is. Pizza, chips, ice cream, fried anything. We say things like, "I can't wait to hit my goal weight so I can EAT." Not meaning that we can eat whatever we want, but that we can eat a brownie sundae once in a while without agonizing over the calorie count in every spoonful. Most of the time I don't agonize, but lately I have been. I have been because the scale isn't freaking moving. It's just not. It's hovering and I'm getting pissed. But see, food is delicious, exciting, and lovely, and it fills an anger-induced hole quicker than you can say, "Can you please pass the lard?"
Here's the truth: I'm tired of dieting. I don't have any desire to go back to eating the way I was prior to a year ago...I really don't. I never again want fast food three times a day. I never again want to eat more than one donut in a sitting. I never again want to consume 1200 calories at breakfast alone. I never again want to be any higher than a 14/16. Trust me...I don't want those things, and they won't happen. All I want to do is relax. I know I can trust myself to eat intuitively - that's not the problem. The dilemma for me is knowing that I can eat intuitively and most likely won't gain weight...but I won't lose it either. And you know, I'm not ready to be done losing. I have approximately 40 pounds to go and I want to get there. And if I put my mind to it, I could probably be there before Christmas. But right now??? Right now, I just want a break until we get back from vacation in 3.5 weeks. I just want to chill the hell out.
So what am I going to do instead? I'm probably going to go on some weird-ass mental boot camp that starts on Monday (of course). 2.5 hours of aerobic exercise a week, 1300-1400 calories a day.
In the meantime, I'm going to have some more water. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!