Monday, November 30, 2009

Holy COW!

No, literally. LOL

My fun little food vacation came to an end today, and it's been a good day. :) I had an apple and a Light Babybel cheese for breakfast, one of my yummy black bean burger tortilla wraps for lunch, a Hungry Girl Brownie Muffin for a snack, and a Hungry Girl Mexi-Tato for dinner. Yum! Plus there's been adequate hydration with over two liters of water. Oh, and I finally pooped. Sorry if that's too much. LOL

Okay, so now on to the bad stuff...eeeek!

So, Thanksgiving was a bit of a problem, of course. I ate too many pieces of cheese with crackers, too much stuffing, and too much dessert. Friday was supposed to be an "on the wagon" day but the leftovers were too tempting. I justified it to myself by saying to Hubs, "Well really, if we're going to New York City this weekend, I don't know that it would make much difference for me to eat well today." I said this as I popped an Oreo truffle in my mouth and then loaded up a plate with turkey, stuffing, and broccoli casserole. Broccoli casserole, by the way, is delicious and disgusting at the same time. It's made with Velveeta...have you ever actually touched Velveeta? Oh my God, it's got the grossest texture ever. But when it gets all melty and mixed with buttery Ritz crackers I can't resist. I know, I'm gross too, especially because Hubs and I try to eat natural/organic foods as often as possible. Let's not think about the chemicals and preservatives.

New York City was a total bust. Lunch was a chicken quesadilla...not horrible. But dinner was a VERY thick, very cheesy shrimp and scallop risotto. Oh, and we stopped at Magnolia Bakery and got some scrummy treats. Hubs and I each got a red velvet cupcake (which we ate before lunch), and for after-dinner I got a red velvet cheesecake and Hubs got a caramel pecan cheesecake. I will say this - they were worth the calories! We also got sugary, roasted cashews from a street vendor, and we split a street vendor hot dog at some point. Oy ve.

Sunday was supposed to be my return to the wagon, but you see that it turned into today. Why? Because I had half of my $30 risotto left over and wasn't going to toss it. Oh, and because we stopped for breakfast on the way home and I desperately wanted the breakfast that came with cinnamon sugar biscuits. What can I say? I'm a mess.

I got on the scale this morning because I'm a glutton for punishment. I won't dare tell you what it said, but I'm hoping that it looks a little better by Friday. ;)

That's what I get!

Friday, November 27, 2009

VERY Mini Hiatus

Mini, like until Sunday!

Hubs and I have been busy the past few days with Thanksgiving, and this weekend we'll be spending some time in New York City. I should mention that there has been no healthy eating yesterday, today, nor will there be tomorrow. But on Sunday morning when we get home, I'm back on the wagon. And THAT'S why I'm not weighing in until Friday. ;)

Enjoy the weekend!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Mama's Angry

Oh, she is.

Why is Mama angry? I'll tell you. My fat ass got on the scale yesterday to see a lovely weight of 237. Oh, I was pissed. Because other than my cheat meal on Friday, I have been on plan like it's my job. And yeah, the cheat meal was a big one, but...4 pounds worth? No. And I hydrated the day before yesterday like crazy and stuck to plan completely, taking in less than 1350 calories that day. So when I saw those numbers, I almost shit a brick. (Which would have made me weigh less. Hmmm. An idea for next time.)

Both Hubs and my sister said, "Why did you weigh yourself? You don't weigh-in until Friday!" Yeah, I know...but I'd been doing so well, and I felt SO good when I woke up that I actually really wanted to get on the scale. I thought I'd see something good for sure. Oh, imagine my horror. And with Thanksgiving coming up and a weekend in New York City right after that with Hubs, I'm simultaneously disgusted and terrified.

So what will I do? I will avoid. I will avoid the scale like the plague. Hubs and my sister both told me not to weigh-in until next Friday, December 4th. I may do that, or I may get on the scale Thanksgiving morning to stay accountable (I won't get on the day after Thankgiving). I know I won't see a huge drop, if I even see anything, but at least I won't feel bad for staying off the scale for almost a full 2 weeks. I don't know...I'll think about it. I'll have to decide which will be less psychologically damaging.

In other news, I have become ADDICTED to canned pumpkin. I caught myself eating it out of the can yesterday with a little Splenda and cinnamon. I seriously ate about 1/2 of a cup of pumpkin that way, and yes, I added it into my calories for the day. A whopping 40, by the way. But I've been making oatmeal with it, using it in my Hungry Girl Brownie Muffins, and tonight I'm making a Hungry Girl recipe for pumpkin crunchers. I. LOVE. PUMPKIN. So imagine my dismay when I got a Hungry Girl e-mail today telling me that, because of heavy rains, Libby's will stop harvesting pumpkin this year! Oh...I CANNOT risk missing out on pumpkin until next year's harvest. Not's too important to me. So what did I do? I ordered 12 29 oz. cans online today. Yep...348 ounces of pumpkin, coming to my house in just a short week or two. Color me freakin' EXCITED. :)

Almost makes me forget about my hideous weight. Wheeee!


Tonight for dinner? A Hungry Girl Mexi-Tato (277 calories). And I'm baking Hubs some blueberry scones and making myself pumpkin crunchers. Hungry Girl = AWESOME.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Hungry Girl - GENIUS!

Oh my God, can I tell you how freaking in love I am with the Hungry Girl cookbook right now? Can I tell you how much I am salivating over the Yum Yum Brownie Muffins I made that are sitting in the kitchen? Or how awesome our dinner was tonight, in the form of a "Meaty" Thin Crust Pizza? Do you know if you go to you can see pictures of all of her recipes? And even though you can do that, I really wanted to share a picture of the Brownie Muffins, because seriously...they're STUPID GOOD. I can't give away the recipe because it's not mine to give away, but I will tell you that the secret ingredient makes them WICKED moist and VERY rich. And they're only 181 calories per muffin. Come on, now...tell me that's not the food of the damn gods.

Oh! Friday weigh-in. Well, it actually went pretty well! It's that time of the month for me, and even with that I was at 233.2, so I had a loss of 0.6. Nothing phenomenal, but considering the fact that my rings were tight that morning I was really expecting to see a gain. I ate very well last week, so I'm confident that it was just because of my period. I typically see a 3-pound gain when it comes around.

Friday was my cheat meal and it was LE YUM. My sister and I went shopping that morning and then had an amazing lunch! Pizza and cheese fries...that's ice cream from a crazy good dairy by my parents house. And not just ice cream - I had peanut butter brownie ice cream with hot fudge, peanut butter, and whipped cream. Oh, I enjoyed my cheat meal. And it ended up being my only real meal of the day because I was STUFFED! I had a Clif Z bar for breakfast (120 calories), and came home and had one of the Brownie Muffins. That was it! And when I weighed myself this morning I was the same, so I think even the sodium didn't get me too badly.

I'm going to keep this post a little short. National Novel Writing Month is coming to a close, and I have to get about 6,000 more words out. Soooooo....let's just end with the numbers!

Current Weight: 233.2

High Weight: 298.2

Goal Weight: 190

Total Lost: 65

Have a good weekend! :D

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Donut? Why, yes, I'll have TWO!

Yeah, I ate a donut today.

It's actually the second day in a row that I ate a donut. Let me explain.

Yesterday the folks at work threw a party for me because I'm leaving the rotation site. There was pizza, pasta, oily salads, chicken wings...and thank you Jesus, there was turkey and celery sticks, which is what I ate for lunch. There was also sweet potato pie, which I didn't touch. (Thank you very much.) But one of the guys bought me three buttercream-filled donuts from an incredibly good bakery nearby; I'd never had anything from there, but this guy and several other people told me it would be the best donut I ever ate.

Who am I to argue, right?

So, I ate one. And you know, it was totally worth the calories and I didn't feel bad about it. I added the calorie amount (estimated at 330) into my Lose It! app on my iTouch and it was done with. I felt fine. I brought the other two donuts home and told Hubs they were all his. The three donuts were all different - they all had this awesome buttercream filling, but one was glazed, one was powdered, and one had chocolate on top. I ate the glazed one at the party, and Hubs took the powdered one for breakfast this morning. The chocolate one was left, and though it was calling my name a bit, I resisted it.

Today I got home early, so I baked Hubs and I some Hungry Girl Snazzy Blueberry Scones for dessert tonight - 125 calories each! I had to run some errands this afternoon but had one when I got home. They are SO delicious! Added into my calories and I was good.

So everything was going fine...until Hubs called and told me he was on his way home. I asked him how his donut was this morning and of course he said it was delicious. And then, of course, all I could think about was how delicious those donuts actually were. And wouldn't you know it? The chocolate one started SCREAMING to me. I thought about resisting it, but then I thought, "How often do I get donuts? Never. And this is the best donut in the world!"

And so I ate it. In all of its 330-calorie glory, I ATE IT. And I'm kind of angry with myself, but only because it brings me to 1391 calories for the day, which is about 100 more than I would have liked. That's including dinner, by the way - Hungry Girl Rockin' and Choppin' Taco Salad for 286 calories. So while it's not the worst thing in the world, it's not exactly something to be proud of.

But at least they're gone. (A fucking dysfunctional dieting mantra, I swear.)

In other news, I used to weigh myself every day. I thought I was doing myself a favor by keeping track, but really the fluctuations were driving me insane! So I vowed to only weigh myself twice a week, and so far I've been happy.


I got on the scale this morning and it said 236, and I almost shit a brick. Which is a nice segue into actually talking about shit, as in I hadn't done it in three days. Hubs gave me some herbal thing to take last night and I shat THREE TIMES over the course of the day. However...236 is disugsting considering I was 233.8 on Friday. So I was pissed. Yeah, I had a donut yesterday, but it wasn't a 7,000 calorie donut, causing me to gain 2 pounds. I couldn't understand it - I'd been eating well, drinking my water, all that good stuff. And I highly doubted that I had a 2-pound shit sitting in my intestines.

Good news though, disguised as a pain in my ass. My period came! massive weight gain (hopefully) explained. I'm drinking water like a crazy person now because I don't want any nasty bloat affecting my weigh-in on Friday.

Ah well. The ups and downs. ;)

Monday, November 16, 2009

Quick Fun Something

Okay...I don't have time to write a whole entry right now, but I convinced Hubs to buy me the Hungry Girl cookbook yesterday during our Barnes and Noble outing. You have to understand something about me lest you think Hubs is miserly. I don't cook. EVER. I bake like Betty Crocker, but I can't do that as often anymore or else I'd never have lost weight! But really...I don't cook. So Hubs was a little suspect about the whole purchase, and I don't blame him. Before we left Barnes and Noble, I told him I was going to make dinner for him today - Loaded 'N Oated Veggie Pizza and Lord of the Onion Rings.

Those are not my pictures, of course. They were thieved from Google Images. But nonetheless, my food didn't look much different! And you know what? Hubs said it was delicious and he'd have it again. And so would I!

(And sorry for the weird placement of the pictures. I'm not adept at this yet. Hubs is a software developer and could totally fix my retardedness, but I try not to make him do work at home.)

The pizza has 231 calories, and an entire serving of onion rings has 153, but we split that. So we had a total of about 308 calories for a TON of food. Oh, and 19 grams of fiber! Can you believe that?! That's enormous. Right now, an hour later, my dinner is still keeping my (ever-shrinking) belly full.

Another thing I love about the Hungry Girl cookbook is that most of the recipes are for 1 or 2 people, although there are some for more. But it's nice because when you're only cooking for two, it sucks to make a big huge recipe.

Yay for Hungry Girl! My next endeavor will be the Snazzy Blueberry Scones - 125 calories each! Can't beat it. :) Oh, and for dinner...look at me, thinking of dessert first...we're going to do the Rockin' and Choppin' Taco Salad for 286 calories and 12 grams of fiber. Love this book. :D

Sunday, November 15, 2009

90/10 Rule Revisited

Okay folks, let's recap the weekend! My 90/10 rule becomes important here.

So, as I said on Friday, I thought Friday night was going to be my cheat meal but it actually fit well into my calories! Since there are no off-limit foods for me, a cheat meal for me is one that I know is going to go way over my calorie limit for the day. Yes, I allow myself one a week. (During bad weeks there are two. Don't judge me.) No, this doesn't trip me up in any way. I eat well all day until that meal, and then I'm right back on course the next day. I've been losing an average of 2-3 pounds per week doing this, so I see no reason to change it now. Maybe I'll have to in the future, but for now I feel good about it.

What do I feel is over my calorie limit? Well, if I consume more than 1500 calories a day I consider it a bad day. I almost always stay between 1300-1400, occasionally having a little more or a little less. But the 1500-calorie mark is pretty much my limit.

So anyway...Friday was NOT a cheat meal. Yesterday I had a crazy busy day, and by the time dinner rolled around I'd only had about 700 calories! Hubs and I went out for dinner, but I ordered an egg white omelette with peppers, onions, and mushrooms (80 calories), bacon (150 calories), and wheat toast (just one slice, about 100 calories.) So yesterday was a success!

Today was my cheat meal, and it was great. :D This morning I had yogurt and fruit for breakfast, one of my yummy wraps for lunch (mentioned here), and that was it. Hubs and I then went to Barnes and Noble where I had about 3 bites of his red velvet cupcake, which was SO worth the calories! Yum.

For dinner we went to Texas Roadhouse. It's not too difficult to eat healthy there, but sometimes I don't feel like it! But I still made some good choices. I had about 6 ounces of pork loin, a side salad with Romaine, tomatoes, and egg (no cheese or croutons, fork dipped in Thousand Island dressing on the side, maybe 4 times total...I used like 1/4 of an ounce), and French fries. I also shared a Baby Blossom with Hubs, which is like a mini fried onion thing. Healthy? No. Do I feel bad? Definitely not. Why? Because it won't matter in the grand scheme of things. If I get back on track tomorrow, which I will, there won't be any problem come weigh-in day. So I'm not sweating it at all, quite frankly, and that's really liberating.

But here's the thing with the 90/10 rule. If you're going to use it, you need to be HONEST with yourself. If you're going over your calories every day by adding in a "cheat" item, then that's not 10% of the time. For me, 10% is once or twice a week. Any more than that and it's no longer 10%, and if the scale shows it then I can't be pissed. There's no one to be angry with but myself when I don't lose or when I gain. But on the flip side, that also means that this awesome progress is no one else's victory but mine. I did all of this work. I am nurturing my body and being kind to it. No one else is putting forth that effort for me, so I'm the only one who gets the credit for it!

In exercise news, I'm still not carving specific time out in my day for it. You know how I feel about exercise. I've been telling Hubs and my sister that if I only had a treadmill, I'd be so much more inclined to exercise! We have a really nice elliptical...I've used it a few times, but I just don't care for the elliptical. Never did, either. Ask my sister - when we used to go to the gym together I could only get on it for like 10 minutes before hating it. I could happily run/walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes though. So anyway, Hubs told me last week that we're going to get a treadmill! I'm so stoked, I can't wait. :D Hubs is so awesome.

On the subject of Hubs being awesome, I asked him on Friday if I could get a boob lift. When you're a 38 DD and lose 60 pounds, things...droop a little. He said, "You can do whatever you want to them, just don't make them smaller." ;) Men. But anyway, that's so great for me! When I hit my goal, maybe that's just what I'll do.

Okay, enough writing for tonight. This week I promise to address the subjects I touched on last week (vegetables, lies, and whatever else I'm forgetting about.)

Good luck this week! :D

Friday, November 13, 2009


Okay, folks. Today's weigh in? 233.8. That's 1.2 down from last Friday! :) I'm totally stoked. And I've decided to make Friday my Official Weigh-In day for reasons discussed here.

Today I was going to talk about fruits and vegetables, and I also wanted to touch on the lies that we tell ourselves when we're overweight and dieting...but I'm just too exhausted. I'm sorry, but I can't do it. :(

Quick run down of my food today. Fage and raspberries again for breakfast, a Kashi Chocolate Peanut Butter Go Lean bar (not terrible but not perfect...I'll talk about that at a different time) for lunch, an apple, a Light Babybel cheese, and a mini Clif bar for snacks. Dinner? Cheat meal: 3 Pizza Hut breadsticks and 3 SMALL pieces of pizza - thin crust, NO cheese. Total calories for the day, counting my cheat meal? 1491. 1491!!! WITH a cheat meal! I don't feel terribly guilty now.

Okay...more tomorrow, I promise. Too tired tonight...


The Numbers

Current Weight: 233.8

High Weight: 298.2

Total Loss: 64.4


Holla!!!! :D

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Not Being An Idiot...

...when it comes to food choices, I mean.

I noticed something very cool yesterday when I was at the grocery store. My eating habits have changed SO much, and not just from before I started eating healthy to after. Even during this whole process things have changed for me. I had my epiphany in the grocery store because I was buying yogurt. Let me explain.

There I was, buying Fage 0% Fat plain greek yogurt, and that's when my cool little realization occured. When I first changed my habits back in May, I was eating the organic equivalent of Pop Tarts for breakfast. Organic sugar, good for me. But there was no fruit (brown sugar and cinnamon flavor, thank you very much), a dismal amount of protein, and no fiber. Oh, and TONS of or not, it doesn't matter when you're eating like 36 grams of it. And 420 calories, for those of you counting. Eventually I got tired of wasting so many calories and stopped eating them.

Then I graduated to Stonyfield Farm non-fat fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt - delicious stuff, didn't even taste fat-free. Then one day I decided to look at the sugar and protein content, in that order. My reaction was, "Wow, look how much! Wow, look how little." Why was I eating that damn yogurt? A great source of calcium and healthy bacteria for sure, but it wasn't keeping me full, and isn't that kind of the whole point? I needed to do something different, a fact that was cemented when I once read in an Eat This, Not That book that some varieties of Stonyfield Farm yogurt contained an alarming amount of sugar.

I'd heard the raves about Greek yogurt and how good it was for you, and how much protein it had, and all that good stuff. So I tried it - Chobani Non-Fat Greek Yogurt, fruit-on-the-bottom. It was good! Really good. I loved the thicker texture, and it absolutely kept me fuller than regular yogurt. Must have been the 14 grams of protein it had. (Seriously, that's impressive.) But it had 17 grams of sugar and not too much fiber, and I knew I could do better than that. Well, eventually - it took me like 3 months to have my "A-ha!" moment regarding the yogurt.

Hubs and I have regular dinner dates and go to Barnes and Noble afterwards because we're dorks. We could sit in the cafe for hours and look at stacks of books. It was on one of those date nights that I came across something - a book, a magazine article, something - that pointed out how much sugar fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt has and how you'd be surprised at how little fruit you're actually getting. This makes perfect sense, of course, but many things make perfect sense that didn't hit us before. I love those "ton of bricks" moments.

So what did I do yesterday? I bought the Fage greek yogurt and a container of fresh organic raspberries. Fabulous! So much less sugar (only 7 grams in the yogurt plus whatever 1/3 cup of raspberries added) and more fiber thanks to the fresh fruit. I threw in a packet of Splenda With Fiber and let me tell was SO GOOD. The yogurt was wicked creamy because it wasn't watered down by the fruit syrup, and the raspberries were so big and yummy. Beats some liquid-y, processed fruit laying on the bottom of the container, I can promise you that.

So anyway, back to my epiphany, which Hubs and I discussed on the phone this morning during our commutes. I used to eat 1000-calorie BK Lounge breakfasts and 1100-calorie Dunkin' Donut breakfasts. I regularly snacked on processed foods and all but skipped the perimeter of the grocery store unless I needed bread. Hubs and I ate out nearly every single night. There were days where I wouldn't touch a single vegetable or piece of fruit, where I wouldn't have even an ounce of dairy. (Oh wait...cheese on my BK Lounge sandwich. OF COURSE.) And here I am, 6 months later, eating plain Greek yogurt and going out of my way to get some fruits and vegetables in, even if I don't really like them. (Maybe we'll discuss that tomorrow.)

Very cool. And very different. And not a little strange.

Oh! And please let me share what I ate for lunch today, because it was so good that I think I'll dream about it. I took an oat flour and olive oil tortilla (90 calories), spread it with a 100-Calorie Snack Pack of Wholly Guacamole (so good and so natural), put a little handful of organic field greens and about a tablespoon of organic red pepper and garlic salsa on top. Then...for the pièce de résistance, I microwaved a Morningstar Farms Spicy Black Bean Burger (120 calories), cut it into strips and put that on for my protein. Please...I could cry right now. It was SO good, and with all of the protein from the black bean burger and the good fats from the olive oil and avocado, I feel like I'm going to stay full for a while. of the goals, right? And it was so easy! Prep was 5 minutes, tops!

Weigh-in tomorrow! I'm looking forward to it. :) Cheers!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Good Day!

It's a good day today and I feel awesome. :) My weigh-in this morning went well - 237.6, which is 2.8 down from last Tuesday! Of course, it is 2.6 up from Friday, but that could just be all of those damn potato chips showing. LOL But no worries, because my total for the week is still 2.8 and there's nothing wrong with that!

I finally let Hubs read my blog on Sunday night. You have to understand something - NO ONE knows my weight except for my sister and my doctor. (And now everyone who read this...LOL) Hubs was the last person I wanted to tell because I weigh more than him, for Christ's sake. He obviously knows I'm eating healthier and knows how much weight I've lost, he just never knew exact numbers. But I really felt like I wanted him to felt wrong to me somehow to keep it from him. I know he understood, but it still didn't feel right to me. I was nervous as hell beause regardless of how beautiful he thinks I am, my number is still hideous. But, as usual, he was perfect and wonderful and supportive. His reaction was pretty much, "Who cares about the number? You look great!" And now he's in with me 100% on this journey, and I'm so happy I came clean. Looking back I realize how stupid I was...obviously he didn't assume that I weighed 150 if I lost 60 and wasn't withered away to nothing. LOL All it takes is some simple math to make you realize that I weighed a LOT, whether you knew my number or not.

One other thing I've been thinking about today, which is actually a bit disconcerting. (No, not that I was thinking...I mean what I was thinking about.) I mentioned in one of my earlier posts that I've never binged on foods, and that's the honest truth. And I don't think I've been lying to myself, telling myself that, "Oh, that didn't really qualify as a wasn't that bad." I just really have never binged.

But oh...let me tell you something. Sometimes I think it would be fun. Sometimes I think it would be great to go to the grocery store, buy one package/bag/piece of every food I genuinely love, and eat it all with reckless abandon. I practically lust after the satiated feeling - satiated being synonymous with stuffed up to my eyes - the sugar, the fat, the tastes and textures. And I know that if I binged ONE DAY it wouldn't make an enormous difference a week later when I weighed myself.

I won't lie to you and tell you that I don't think about. I won't do it...but I think about it. And I can't believe I just said that out loud.

Anyway...LOL Today was good and controlled. Same breakfast of coffee and Greek yogurt; lunch was a Bumble Bee tuna lunch kit (fat-free tuna salad and crackers) for 150 calories, an apple, and a Light Babybel cheese. My snack in the afternoon was baby carrots and an Iced Gingerbread Clif bar. These are amazing, I promise you. Go forth and purchase!

Tonight before I met Hubs at his parents' for dinner I stopped at Borders for a while. I saw these ridiculously yummy-looking Ghirardelli peppermint bark squares - 60 calories a piece. I carried them around with me for a while and then was like, "What the HELL are you doing?" Talk about a bad decision...I'd eat like 3 of those at a time, and before I knew it I'd have consumed almost 200 calories. I put them back...screw THAT noise. Not a big deal, I know, but I was so excited that I passed them up! Dinner was delicious, roasted chicken, rice, and salad. My mother-in-law is awesome and always has diet-friendly stuff when we come over. I had half a homemade brownie for dessert, but it wasn't because I caved or anything. I wanted I had it. And I didn't feel bad about it. My total calorie intake for the day was 1401. Not bad!

Also...**TMI ALERT!** I finally took a poo tonight! LOL I think it'd been 3 days. I'm supposed to be on iron supplements but I really just can't tolerate them. I always think it's in my head though, so I go a while without taking them and then try again. I've done this 4 times since June, and every time I do it, I can't take a crap. more of that for me. LOL Lovely info!

For some non-weight loss news, I'm participating in National Novel Writing Month for the first time. I love it! It really holds me accountable to my writing, and I love that. After I write my 1,000 words tonight I'll have a total of 41,000. You only have to hit 50,000 for reach the "goal", but I'll have more words in my head than that, I can tell already. LOL But anyway, it's been a real success so far. I took off last night and didn't write anything, but I'm ahead so it's all right.

Let's look at the numbers!

Current weight: 237.6

High Weight: 298.2

Goal Weight: 190

Total Lost: 60.6


I'll be posting my BMI on a monthly basis since it won't change too much from week to week.

Here's to a successful week! Cheers! :)

Monday, November 9, 2009


Remember my talk about the 90/10 thing? I really believe in that. My weight loss is proof for me that if I eat supremely well 90% of the time, I can be a bit looser the other 10% of the time.

I know that not everyone feels that way. I think it either works for you or it doesn't. If incorporating Forbidden Foods into your diet triggers you to relapse, then it's safe to say you can't do it. But if you are able to have control even after the 10% of the time is over, I think it can be very useful. Because like you always hear, "It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle." And isn't that true? And hey, I'll admit that sometimes it's harder for me when I eat the Forbidden Foods...I find myself craving them more and more, and that just makes things more challenging for me. I never go out of control or, God forbid, binge, but it does get tougher. But I know that, and sometimes I accept the challenge because I really want something that's not normally on the menu for me.

I did pretty well today. Coffee with Splenda and organic half and half for my morning commute and a non-fat peach Greek yogurt for breakfast mid-morning; an Iced Pumpkin Pie Clif bar for lunch (because I was in my car) with a Light Babybel cheese and 14 baby carrots. Not bad, right? Pretty super. :)

Then I came home and saw THE CHIPS. Hubs bought these INCREDIBLY good sour cream and onion chips on Sunday morning, and I made the mistake of smelling them...LOL For the longest time I thought that I was only a sugar-craver, but one thing I learned when I started eating healthy was that I. CRAVE. SALT. Salt calls to me like a hooker calls to a man in the midst of a 20-year sex drought. I know I shouldn't be doing it, but damn...they're just so good. And it's weird, because I can absolutely have a piece of chocolate and not have another. But salty stuff? Just...NO.

So what did I do? Oh, I came home and ate the rest of the bag. LOL There were about 3 servings in there, so I scarfed down a cool 450 calories doing that, not to mention a disgusting amount of sodium. And you know what? I was mad at myself, and I still am. There's definitely something to be said for cutting yourself a little slack if you want to have something fabulous at a restaurant or for special occasions, but honestly...there's nothing fabulous about gross, preservative-filled chips! They had MSG in them, for crying out loud! LOL But what I'm NOT going to do is let that allow me to eat whatever I want for the rest of the day. I took responsibility (didn't eat them all and then pretend it didn't happen since no one saw) and added them to my total calorie count using the Lose It! app on my iTouch. Added to the other things I ate today, plus dinner which will be Amy's Tamale Verde (AMAZING...Hubs and I are huge fans), that takes me to 1303 calories for the day. Not terrible!!! However, I have to be honest with myself and anticipate...POSSIBLY...a VitaMuffin cranberry nut muffin after dinner for 100 calories. I am going to try to go without it, but if it calls to me I may give in. I don't want to eat some yucky crap at 11 PM when I can't get to sleep because I'm still thinking about that goddamn muffin. But that still puts me at only 1403 calories for the day, and there's nothing wrong with that!

You'll notice I don't exercise. LOL Yes, I've noticed that too. It's not because I'm incapable...Hubs and I summit mountains, for Christ's's because I just don't feel like it. It's as simple as that, really. I get home from work and I don't feel like it. I wake up at 4:30 AM and don't feel like waking up at 4 AM to get a workout in. It is what it is, and I've learned to accept it for now. Fortunately I don't have a sedentary lifestyle overall, so I've been okay.

Last thought: I'm thinking of changing my official weigh-in day from Tuesday to Friday. Why? Because given how huge my drops are on Fridays, I think I have a falsely high weight on Tuesday most likely secondary to water retention. When I lose 3 pounds from Tuesday to Friday, I know it's probably not "real" weight loss; similarly, if I gain 3 pounds from Friday to Tuesday, I know that I didn't eat an excess of 10,500 calories over the weekend to equal 3 pounds of "real" weight gain. Given all that weird water fluctuation, I think Friday weigh-ins might be more accurate.

Thoughts on this?

Weigh-in tomorrow! Cheers!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Weekend Woes as much as I hate work, I need the weekend to end so that I can get back on track! (She says, as if the weekend was to blame.)

To be fair, this weekend was not nearly as bad as some that I've had in the past. And it's funny...despite the fact that I sometimes lose my way on the weekends, my weight loss doesn't seem to be hindered. No, that doesn't make it okay for me to eat like a gross pig, I'm just sayin'.

Hubs and I went out for our dinner Friday night, which I mentioned was my cheat meal. It was actually not that bad - for dinner I had pork loin, a salad with a teensy bit of dressing on the side, and French fries. The French fries were honestly my worst choice of the night, and I didn't eat them all. I also had a dinner roll, but stop judging me! And that was not too bad.

Saturday was much less worse than it could have been. I was wicked on track all day, but then Hubs wanted to stop at White Castle for dinner on our way home from car shopping. He asked me if I wanted anything and I said no, which was true. But once he got them in the car, God almighty...that stuff is like manna from heaven. But I only had a bite of his slider and 4 or 5 French fries, and then I was done. When we got home, I skipped dinner and instead had about 2 cups of organic popcorn for about 160 calories. Not terrible.

Today was a little less easy. I started out well with a coffee and a mini Clif bar for breakfast (200 calories total). But then I totally gave into my salt craving...*sigh* I had - let's be honest here - about 3 servings of potato chips for 450 calories and a few pieces of beef jerky for abour 200 calories, which is so whiskey tango (read: white trash). Then Hubs and I went to Barnes and Noble and I had a soft pretzel (290 calories) and a double fudge cupcake (350 calories). Jesus! But at least I skipped the Caramel Light Frappuccino that I usually get (130 calories).

I swore I was going to eat NOTHING for the rest of the night, but all of those empty calories burned away and I was left really hungry. I made a smart choice for dinner and had an Amy's Breakfast Scramble Burrito with a little bit of salsa for about 350 calories total.

It's 6:30 PM now, and I am REALLY done eating whether my body likes it or not. I already packed a super healthy lunch and snacks for tomorrow, so I know it's going to be a good day. :) I really do.

Weigh-in on Tuesday! Despite the slightly lousy weekend (especially today), I'm looking forward to it. I have faith that it's going to be a good number. Perhaps a little more than Friday since that was a big drop (maybe a fluke?), but still...I think I'll be happy.

Until then, cheers!

Friday, November 6, 2009


I'm the worst! I meant to post here on Tuesday after my weigh-in, but I've been so busy with NaNoWriMo that I completely forgot. I come home from work and have to write some words, but it has to be in my novel and not here if I want to make the NaNoWriMo goal. So far it's going really well, I've got over 36,000 words. I'm so excited!

So a little backpedaling here. Tuesday's weigh-in was a success - 240.4. So I lost almost 2 pounds since the Tuesday before. Yay! (The weight in my first blog post was my Friday weight, NOT my Tuesday weight. That's why there's a discrepancy.) And I've been sticking to the vow I made about not allowing myself crappy food even if it fits into my calorie amount for the day, and it's really been working! I haven't had any cravings all week and I've been staying on track and doing really well. Some days this is effortless...other times it's like pulling teeth. I'm grateful for the former this week!

My sister and I do our official weigh-in on Tuesday, but we do a mid-week weigh in on Fridays as well. My Friday weigh-in, which is today? 235. I am SO not kidding!!! :D And I know it looks like a huge drop, but my scale was doing funny things on Tuesday; I could have been either 240.4 or I could have been 238.2. It kept jumping back and forth, so I just went with the higher number. I've gone with the lower number before and have been totally disappointed. LOL Today I weighed myself 3 times and got 235, 235, and 233.8. So I figure best 2 out of 3, right? And I know I seem like I'm obsessesd, weighing myself 3 times, but I swear I'm not crazy. Just trying to get the most accurate number!

Today I'm off from work, so I'm hoping that I don't get tempted by stuff in the house. I didn't wake up craving stuff like I did last week though, so I'm feeling optimistic. Tonight is my Cheat Meal and I'm really looking forward to it! LOL It helps me stay on track during the week, and it will be especially helpful to remember if I get cravings today.

So...let's look at the numbers. I've decided to incorporate my BMI in here too, mostly because I'm so excited about it! Who gets excited about a BMI? LOL Well, mine finally isn't terribly gross anymore, so I'M excited. ;)

Current Weight: 235

High Weight: 298.2

Goal Weight: 190
Current BMI: 34.7

High BMI: 42.5

My goal is to be 220 by Christmas. Here's to working hard!


Monday, November 2, 2009

A Good Day...Finally!

I'm proud of myself for not being an oinker today. I had an epiphany this morning, though it wasn't really epiphany-worthy. I've been fooling myself as to why eating healthy has been difficult for me lately. I've been telling myself lies, mostly.

"I have no idea WHAT the problem is!"

"I have my period."

"I don't know why I'm eating all of those Doritos. Maybe my sodium is low."

Yeah, okay. Or maybe I'm a food addict. Because here's the thing... If I don't eat those foods, I don't crave them! I really don't. But if I eat one Dorito, or one chocolate chip cookie, I unleash that monkey on my back. So I vowed that today would be different, and it was!

I usually have no problem staying I'm track when I'm at work because I'm always so busy, but when I'm home, I'm distracted by all the yumminess we have in the house! Because even though I'm trying to eat healthy I don't force Hubs to snack on the things that I keep around. Which, by the way, aren't berries and twigs. But Hubs is a big fan of MSG and preservatives, which is fine...I just have to stay away from that stuff because it fuels my addiction. But anyway, I got home from work super early today and was a little worried about myself. It was all good, though!

For breakfast, on my way to work, I had a coffee with some organic half & half and Splenda with Fiber. I also ate a serving of dry Gluten-Free O's that we get from our supermarket. I don't know the brand, but I know that it's good! There's only 110 calories in two-thirds of a cup, which is a lot of cereal.

I got to work and found out that I was pretty much just going to turn around and come home. LOL On my way home I was craving something sweet...all psychological, by the way, and probably having everything to do with the shit I ate this weekend. To feed my need, I had a mini Clif bar for 100 calories.

Got home and had to run some errands, but after that errands I had a container of vegan Tortilla Soup by Dr. McDougall for lunch. I don't know who the hell Dr. McDougall is, but I know he makes a damn good soup for 200 calories! Lots of cilantro, and it tastes really salty but barely has any sodium added. Plus, it's super filling. I snacked on organic baby carrots and a Light Babybel cheese in the afternoon. For dinner I had Cedar Lane Spinach and Cheese Tamales, which are pretty standard for me. They're 330 calories and keep me full for a while - no easy feat. For dessert I had a half a serving of Green & Black's Organic Chocolate with toffee pieces. I usually go for their 85% dark chocolate, but I was in the mood for the creamy stuff tonight.

So far I'm at 1100 calories. I have about 180 left before I hit my limit for the day and it's only 6:20 maybe more food to come. But whatever it is, it WON'T be something I shouldn't eat. No food crack for me today, I need to reset my brain.

And tomorrow is weigh-in day! Stay tuned. :)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

I'm Not A Loser...

...I swear. Though it might seem like I am.

It pains me to start out my blog with a little story of failure, but shit happens. Yesterday was my Cheat Meal day, and everything worked out pretty well. According to my Lose It! app on my iTouch, my body needs a little more than 1800 calories a day to lose 2 pounds a week without exercise. I typically don't allow myself more than 1300 because 1) I won't exercise and 2) I want to lose faster, damn it. So although I had my Cheat Meal yesterday, I doubt that I went over 2500 calories all day. That's not bad.

The problem? I had a Cheat Meal today as well, and that was bad. Although it could have been worse! Hubs and I went to Cracker Barrel (lovingly referred to in the future as The Barrel) where I got grilled chicken (good choice), turnip greens (good choice), dumplings and mashed potatoes (BAD choices). Oh, and I ate a biscuit (bad choice). But that was it! And up until dinner I'd only eaten about 650calories. So hopefully we're not too bad.

The other problem is that I made Hubs chocolate chip cookies on Friday. I bake like Betty freakin' Crocker...I seriously do...and my chocolate chip cookies are heaven on earth. I don't say that to be egotistical, I say it because it's true. They're like little gifts from God. Anyway, 5 dozen of those tasty little morsels have been in our kitchen since Friday, the number dwindling. Hubs has eaten about 2 dozen on his own. I will confess...I had 4 today. But in my defense, they're little! But it's still no excuse.

Tuesday is weigh-in day. My sister and I stopped making Monday weigh-in day, because sometimes we need that day to hydrate and lose water weight if we've had a questionable weekend. Kind of like I'll need to do this Monday.

We'll see what Tuesday holds!