Sunday, January 31, 2010

I'm the Worst!

What a horrible blogger I've been! Gosh, it's been over a week. I swear I'll never do that again!

I had a really great week and I'm feeling newly committed. My sister, who is with me on this weight loss journey, and I had a big conversation last weekend. She's been having a hard time staying on track, which I can completely relate to. My weekends had turned into all-out foodfests, and while it didn't make me gain in the grand scheme of things, it sure wasn't helping me lose. After talking, we both realized that we had to stop making stupid decisions and really just give this damn thing our all. Christmas has passed, I have no longer-than-a-weekend vacations coming up until May, and that means there aren't any really challenging "eating occasions" to contend with any time soon. We each only have about 40 pounds to lose - we could do that in 5 months if we work hard. That's 20 weeks! That's NOTHING! And by the time summer and our beach vacation roll around, we can be FINISHED. That's enough motivation to recommit and start kicking it up a notch.

So what are we doing? Well, the Friday weigh-in is gone for good. Looking back at that decision, it was made out of a very non-committed place. If I weighed myself on Friday, I could have a really lax weekend and then do a stellar job during the week. By the time Friday came, my weekend weight would most likely be gone and I would see probably a pound less on the scale. While that might be an easier and more fun way to go about my diet, it's not exactly healthy...and it's not changing my eating habits much either. And when it comes down to it, this is a "lifestyle change", in the immortal words of dieters everywhere. But it really is.

SO. Weigh-in day is back to Monday, and if I screw up over the weekend, well, I have to be accountable to myself, to Hubs, to my sister, and to the public. And when you're going to broadcast your weight for the world to read, you don't want to do a crappy job. I don't want to do a crappy job for myself either, but sometimes I need a little more motivation than that! Especially since I'm feeling really good now, looking good in all of my clothes that didn't fit before, and being happy with what I see in the mirror. But even though 230 pounds looks okay on me, it's still not a number that I want to see on the scale, nor do I want my doctor to see it. Because regardless of whether or not I look good, I know the weight's not healthy.

Speaking of healthy, Couch to 5 K is going great! I ran my longest interval yet yesterday, and while most of you runners would laugh, 5 minutes is a long time for me. LOL I've said it before, but it bears repeating...I'm so proud of what I can do. I really am! Today will be running for 8-minute intervals, so it will definitely be challenging for me. But I can do it, and that's amazing for me.

Today so far I had my favorite new breakfast combination: Fage non-fat yogurt with 1/4 cup blueberries and 1/4 cup Trader Joe's Nutty American Trek Mix. Plus a coffee with organic half and half, all for a total of 290 calories. This afternoon we're heading to my in-laws to celebrate my brother-in-law's birthday. My mother-in-law is awesome and knows I'm dieting, so she'll be grilling some chicken and having veggies and a salad along with some of the other stuff I'll avoid, like spare ribs and mashed potatoes. She's also making a pistachio cake for my brother-in-law, which thankfully I don't care for so I won't be tempted! I may have a taste of the icing though. I have to be honest with myself. ;)

I'll be back tomorrow with the numbers. Enjoy your Sunday! :)

Oh, one important addition... I took 5 pairs of pants to the tailor last week, because obviously I need them taken in. He is taking 5.5 inches off the waists. That's victory!!!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Treating Myself

Gosh, I've been away so long! Sorry about that. Life got in the way a bit, but now I'm back.

Life getting in the way can be a real bugger sometimes. My hurdle was in the form of an acute gall bladder "attack" on Monday night, into Tuesday morning. Why did I have that attack? Probably because I treated myself to a bit of ice cream after my workout. That'll learn me, I guess. On Tuesday, after spending too much of our time in the ER, I decided to not count my calories that day and eat what was comforting to me and to my stomach. I can't remember what I had all day, but it was mostly carbs; I remember having a bagel, and one and a half plain pancakes. Otherwise the week was stellar! I've been getting in 5-7 fruits and vegetables a day which is something I've never done prior to a few weeks ago. I've been getting creative with my meals and discovering what satisfies me and what doesn't, and what holds me over from one meal to the next. I won't go into huge details here, but let's just say that I've found Trader Joe's Nutty American Trek Mix, and mixed with some is good.

So...why did I weigh 233.8 today, a 1.2 (I think) increase from last week? Well, part of it is my crazy uterus and its even crazier IUD - I'm getting my period again. Part of it also is that when I weighed myself this morning, I hadn't shat in about 3 days. That's been taken care of, thank you very much. But part of it - let's be honest here - is that I PIGGED OUT over the weekend. Dinner out on Saturday, a social gathering on Sunday complete with a cheese and nut tray, food from a great Italian restaurant, and two AMAZING desserts I made and brought to the party - S'mores cupcakes with cream cheese icing and salted fudge brownies. They were SO good, and I have to tell the truth...this weekend was worth EVERY calorie I consumed. It really was.

My Couch to 5K running is going great, much to my surprise! Just did Week 4, Day 1 today, and it was probably the toughest workout for me yet. Partially because it's just harder than the first three weeks, but also because I had a little snack right before my workout and ended up with an awful cramp in my stomach! I'm really sensitive to that...I should know better.

But getting back to the title...

Why is it that some people seem to get...I don't know...critical?...after you've lost weight? It's like people were happier when you were fat for some reason, and they didn't feel the need to be judgmental or ask questions that are bordering on being nasty. For instance, today at work someone brought in a gorgeous spread of cookies. Oatmeal raisin, white chocolate macadamia nut, and chocolate chip. I had dark chocolate in my trail mix today so I wasn't feeling it too much, but the white chocolate macadamia nut cookie was calling my name. I said, "Oh, those cookies...they're killing me!" This was after I ate a quarter of one; I knew if I didn't have a bite, I would eventually ransack the tray! LOL One of the older gals, the unit secretary, was in earshot and got this really disgusted, kind of haughty look on her face and said, "What? Don't you ever TREAT yourself?" And she chicken-necked at me. I'm sorry, but she did.

And I said, "Of course I do, if it's worth it. That's why I ate a piece of that cookie."

She said, "Just a PIECE? Can't you have the whole thing?"

Well...of course I can have the whole thing. But I don't want to. Because if I can be satisified by a piece, why should I eat the whole thing? If I "treated myself" every time I saw a piece of chocolate, or a pastry, or a cookie, I wouldn't have lost any weight. Treats are just that - they're treats. They're not snacks, they're not meal substitutions, they're not desserts. They're treats. And if you're treating yourself all day, every day, or after every meal, then it's not a treat anymore. It's just a part of your regular diet now. Just like fast food, chocolate, and cookies were a part of my diet before. Why does this seem to bother people so much? I don't judge ANYONE for what they eat, so why should I be judged for what I DON'T eat?

Also? Love this one. "How much more weight are you going to lose??? You're starting to look sickly."

I'm 233.8 pounds. That's hardly sickly. It's like people aren't happy unless you're busting out of your clothes and can't fit into chairs.

Anyway...there's my rant. LOL Sorry!


Current Weight: 233.8

High Weight: 298.6

Goal Weight: 190

Total Lost: 64.8


Okay, so I'm hovering. ;) But hey, I'm working through it!


Monday, January 18, 2010

Please God...

I don't want to talk about it.

Tomorrow's a new day.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Oh my God, let's just talk about all the food I ate today. All the GOOD food!

I've really been getting creative with my foods, trying to get in more of the fruit and veggie food group and trying to pack in superfoods whenever I can. I'm really proud of myself today!

Breakfast: 270 calories

Fage nonfat Greek yogurt, 1/2 cup pumpkin, and one organic banana
Coffee with organic half and half

Lunch: 376 calories

Trader Joe's small pita, 2 ounces grilled chicken, guacamole
1/2 cup blueberries
5 Back to Nature stoneground wheat crackers with 1/4 Tbsp Trader Joe's organic PB

Dinner: 370 calories

3/4 cup brown rice, 4 ounces grilled chicken, 1 cup steamed broccoli, and a bit of olive oil

Dessert: 308 calories

Fage, 1/2 banana, 1 Tbsp chocolate chips, 1 whole graham cracker (4 little rectangles)


Clif Z Bar, chocolate brownie flavor - 120 calories
V8 Fusion Pomegranate Blueberry - 100 calories (Don't usually like drinking my calories, but this was healthy, delicious, and FILLING!)
Trader Joe's Dark Belgian Chocolate Wedge - 35 calories (YUM!)


Total calories: 1544

Calories burned on the treadmill (Yay for Couch to 5K!): 216

Net calories: 1328

1328!!! For all of that food!

That's 5 veggies and 3.5 fruits. Go me!!!

Monday, January 11, 2010


I haven't had any comment links on my last few posts!

Dang it. But no one was probably trying to comment anyway! LOL

Saturday, January 9, 2010


Totally forgot to post yesterday, and it was official weigh-in Friday! Sorry.

The week went very well for me. Lots of good food, plus I'm trying to be more conscious of getting my vegetables in. People aren't lying when they say if you don't think about it you might not get them in. I realize that I went days on end without eating one vegetable. Lovely!

Most days were the same for me this week: Ezekiel bread with natural peanut butter, nonfat plain Greek yogurt with blueberries for breakfast; Back to Nature crackers with natural peanut butter, Light Babybel cheese, an apple, and a serving of baby carrots for lunch; protein bar or Clif Z bar on my commute home; and dinner was either steel-cut oats with natural PB, banana, and chocolate chips (which I LOVE!) or tons of steamed broccoli and brown rice with soy sauce. Snacks at night were usually either Pretzel Slims from Trader Joe's or chocolate. Not really anything different all week...and I like it that way. :) I'm fine without much variety...if I find something I like, I'll eat it every day!

Things have been going really well on the exercise front, too. I started the Couch to 5K program and will be doing the second day of my second week tomorrow - jogging 90 seconds, walking 2 minutes, for a total of about 30 minutes. I'm really, REALLY enjoying the workout...I never thought I'd say that. And I've mentioned this before but it bears repeating - I'm SO proud of my body! :)

So where did all this get me? Well, it got me to 234.8 yesterday. That's a 3.8 pound loss since last Friday. :) Yay! Still not back to where I was before our vacation, but I'm on the right track. I feel good.

That's 64 pounds lost! No reason to complain here.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!!!

Monday, January 4, 2010

On the Wagon Again!

And it feels good. :)

Mama was good today, folks. Let me give you a quick recap.

Breakfast was vanilla caramel coffee with organic half and half, 2 pieces of Ezekiel bread with 1 Tbsp almond butter, plain, non-fat Fage yogurt with a packet of Splenda and 1/4 cup of blueberries.

Lunch was 5 Back To Nature crackers with 1/2 Tbsp almond butter, an organic Braeburn apple, 14 baby carrots (3 oz), and a mini Clif bar. I forgot to eat my Light Babybel cheese!

Dinner was AWESOME! I had an Amy's Brown Rice and Vegetable Bowl with 2 cups of steamed broccoli and a little bit of soy sauce. Holy cow...can I just tell you that this was wickedly good? And SO filling! And SO vegetable-y! Awesome. I love those new vegetable steamer thingies that some of those frozen vegetable companies make. They make getting yummy veggies in so easy, especially when you detest most of them raw, as I do. ;)

I also had 2 dark-chocolate covered caramels at work for 40 calories each. Worth it!

And I got in 64 ounces of water PLUS a 12-ounce cup of hot tea...that should count as water too, I think. ;)

All this for a total of only 1103 calories. I see a snack in my future! Perhaps some Green & Black's 85% dark chocolate...we shall see. :)

Friday, January 1, 2010

Potato Chips Suck

Ugh...I have eaten so many servings of potato chips today. Seriously, I've had sour cream and onion Utz, sour cream and cheddar Ruffles, and some kind of all-natural barbecue waffle fries... All-natural or not, it's still disgusting.

Let me backtrack a bit...

Firstly, I DID weigh myself Christmas Eve and was 228.6. Not quite at my Christmas Eve goal of 224, but to be honest I didn't deserve to hit it with the way I'd been eating. You can tell from the few times that I posted while we were on vacation that I didn't do so well there either. Well, when I weighed myself this morning I was 238.6.

Did I freak out? Nah. Why? Because I know for a fact that I was active just about every day on vacation, and I also know that I didn't eat an extra 35,000 calories in the span of one week.

The probable culprit? Hey, some of it is probably real weight, and I'm okay with that. I enjoyed myself. But also, we ate every meal out and I barely hydrated. I noticed that I was thirsty almost constantly each day. I never wanted to drink too much because if we were out hiking somewhere, I didn't want to have to pull my ski pants, base layer, and underwear down and cop a squat in the VERY deep snow. I know that wasn't the smartest move considering we were active, but I did always have a lot of water with me. Also, in going from place to place we spent over an hour on the Kancamagus Highway just about each time. There aren't many warm places to pee on the Kanc, and when I hydrate properly I pee about every hour or so. I really didn't want to have to keep stopping and squatting, whether we were driving or hiking.

Anyway, we weren't supposed to be coming home until today or tomorrow, but New England is getting a pretty big storm this weekend and Hubs wanted to make sure we beat it. We got back yesterday around noon but I didn't really salvage the day, to be honest. I'm doing better today, but I told myself this morning that I would hydrate, exercise, and at least eat well until dinner...all until Monday. Monday I'm returning to my original plan hardcore. But I didn't want to have to count my dinner calories this weekend because Hubs and I wanted to go out a few times.

(I know some people don't agree with waiting for a special date, but I do, and it's what works for me. If I had to start today, at the beginning of a 3-day weekend, I'd feel very discouraged. So hey...small steps, all right? ;) )

I did really well today, except for the chips...LOL I had one piece of Ezekiel bread toasted with about a tablespoon of almond butter for breakfast, and my oatmeal concoction for lunch. Plus I did 30 minutes on the treadmill today for the first day of the Couch to 5K program! I'm really excited about this. Right now, I'm loving the intervals; just when I feel like I can't run anymore, it's time to walk! LOL I was really proud of myself and of my body today. I was glad it was able to do what it did. I can't wait for the next workout!

So, my 2010 resolutions?

- To try to be more graceful, kind, and compassionate. I had to try it at the grocery store today - instead of being frustrated at someone for having their cart blocking the entire aisle, I just kindly said, "Excuse me," and smiled. I was surprised at how much easier that was than to shoot someone a dirty look, as if their world should revolve around me. And 95% of the time I got a nice response, and even some smiles. And sure, I think when you're always kind and forgiving you can be made a fool of sometimes (doesn't that sound horrible?), but it's just so much less WORK to be nice. Takes a lot of effort to feel angry all the time.

- To be more patient and tolerant at home. I can be tough to live with sometimes...ask Hubs. ;) I often feel unlovable and really seem to enjoy projecting that onto Hubs, and that has to come to a screeching halt.

And finally...

- No more potato chips. I'm a big fan of "everything in moderation", but unfortunately I can't do moderation with potato chips. They need to go, totally and completely, until I hit my goal weight. Then and only then will I consider introducing them into my diet again. They're my weakness, and my addiction to them is stronger than me. I wouldn't ask a newly recovered alcoholic to go sit in a bar and have just one drink, so I'm not going to have just one chip. Can't do it.

Official weigh-in next Friday! The holidays will be over, I'll be back on track, ,and I'll feel better to do it then. So I'm going to wait until then to post the numbers.

Happy New Year!