Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Good Day!

It's a good day today and I feel awesome. :) My weigh-in this morning went well - 237.6, which is 2.8 down from last Tuesday! Of course, it is 2.6 up from Friday, but that could just be all of those damn potato chips showing. LOL But no worries, because my total for the week is still 2.8 and there's nothing wrong with that!

I finally let Hubs read my blog on Sunday night. You have to understand something - NO ONE knows my weight except for my sister and my doctor. (And now everyone who read this...LOL) Hubs was the last person I wanted to tell because I weigh more than him, for Christ's sake. He obviously knows I'm eating healthier and knows how much weight I've lost, he just never knew exact numbers. But I really felt like I wanted him to know...it felt wrong to me somehow to keep it from him. I know he understood, but it still didn't feel right to me. I was nervous as hell beause regardless of how beautiful he thinks I am, my number is still hideous. But, as usual, he was perfect and wonderful and supportive. His reaction was pretty much, "Who cares about the number? You look great!" And now he's in with me 100% on this journey, and I'm so happy I came clean. Looking back I realize how stupid I was...obviously he didn't assume that I weighed 150 if I lost 60 and wasn't withered away to nothing. LOL All it takes is some simple math to make you realize that I weighed a LOT, whether you knew my number or not.

One other thing I've been thinking about today, which is actually a bit disconcerting. (No, not that I was thinking...I mean what I was thinking about.) I mentioned in one of my earlier posts that I've never binged on foods, and that's the honest truth. And I don't think I've been lying to myself, telling myself that, "Oh, that didn't really qualify as a binge...it wasn't that bad." I just really have never binged.

But oh...let me tell you something. Sometimes I think it would be fun. Sometimes I think it would be great to go to the grocery store, buy one package/bag/piece of every food I genuinely love, and eat it all with reckless abandon. I practically lust after the satiated feeling - satiated being synonymous with stuffed up to my eyes - the sugar, the fat, the tastes and textures. And I know that if I binged ONE DAY it wouldn't make an enormous difference a week later when I weighed myself.

I won't lie to you and tell you that I don't think about. I won't do it...but I think about it. And I can't believe I just said that out loud.

Anyway...LOL Today was good and controlled. Same breakfast of coffee and Greek yogurt; lunch was a Bumble Bee tuna lunch kit (fat-free tuna salad and crackers) for 150 calories, an apple, and a Light Babybel cheese. My snack in the afternoon was baby carrots and an Iced Gingerbread Clif bar. These are amazing, I promise you. Go forth and purchase!

Tonight before I met Hubs at his parents' for dinner I stopped at Borders for a while. I saw these ridiculously yummy-looking Ghirardelli peppermint bark squares - 60 calories a piece. I carried them around with me for a while and then was like, "What the HELL are you doing?" Talk about a bad decision...I'd eat like 3 of those at a time, and before I knew it I'd have consumed almost 200 calories. I put them back...screw THAT noise. Not a big deal, I know, but I was so excited that I passed them up! Dinner was delicious, roasted chicken, rice, and salad. My mother-in-law is awesome and always has diet-friendly stuff when we come over. I had half a homemade brownie for dessert, but it wasn't because I caved or anything. I wanted it...so I had it. And I didn't feel bad about it. My total calorie intake for the day was 1401. Not bad!

Also...**TMI ALERT!** I finally took a poo tonight! LOL I think it'd been 3 days. I'm supposed to be on iron supplements but I really just can't tolerate them. I always think it's in my head though, so I go a while without taking them and then try again. I've done this 4 times since June, and every time I do it, I can't take a crap. So...no more of that for me. LOL Lovely info!

For some non-weight loss news, I'm participating in National Novel Writing Month for the first time. I love it! It really holds me accountable to my writing, and I love that. After I write my 1,000 words tonight I'll have a total of 41,000. You only have to hit 50,000 for reach the "goal", but I'll have more words in my head than that, I can tell already. LOL But anyway, it's been a real success so far. I took off last night and didn't write anything, but I'm ahead so it's all right.

Let's look at the numbers!

Current weight: 237.6

High Weight: 298.2

Goal Weight: 190

Total Lost: 60.6


I'll be posting my BMI on a monthly basis since it won't change too much from week to week.

Here's to a successful week! Cheers! :)

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