Treating Myself

Gosh, I've been away so long! Sorry about that. Life got in the way a bit, but now I'm back.

Life getting in the way can be a real bugger sometimes. My hurdle was in the form of an acute gall bladder "attack" on Monday night, into Tuesday morning. Why did I have that attack? Probably because I treated myself to a bit of ice cream after my workout. That'll learn me, I guess. On Tuesday, after spending too much of our time in the ER, I decided to not count my calories that day and eat what was comforting to me and to my stomach. I can't remember what I had all day, but it was mostly carbs; I remember having a bagel, and one and a half plain pancakes. Otherwise the week was stellar! I've been getting in 5-7 fruits and vegetables a day which is something I've never done prior to a few weeks ago. I've been getting creative with my meals and discovering what satisfies me and what doesn't, and what holds me over from one meal to the next. I won't go into huge details here, but let's just say that I've found Trader Joe's Nutty American Trek Mix, and mixed with some Fage...life is good.

So...why did I weigh 233.8 today, a 1.2 (I think) increase from last week? Well, part of it is my crazy uterus and its even crazier IUD - I'm getting my period again. Part of it also is that when I weighed myself this morning, I hadn't shat in about 3 days. That's been taken care of, thank you very much. But part of it - let's be honest here - is that I PIGGED OUT over the weekend. Dinner out on Saturday, a social gathering on Sunday complete with a cheese and nut tray, food from a great Italian restaurant, and two AMAZING desserts I made and brought to the party - S'mores cupcakes with cream cheese icing and salted fudge brownies. They were SO good, and I have to tell the truth...this weekend was worth EVERY calorie I consumed. It really was.

My Couch to 5K running is going great, much to my surprise! Just did Week 4, Day 1 today, and it was probably the toughest workout for me yet. Partially because it's just harder than the first three weeks, but also because I had a little snack right before my workout and ended up with an awful cramp in my stomach! I'm really sensitive to that...I should know better.

But getting back to the title...

Why is it that some people seem to get...I don't know...critical?...after you've lost weight? It's like people were happier when you were fat for some reason, and they didn't feel the need to be judgmental or ask questions that are bordering on being nasty. For instance, today at work someone brought in a gorgeous spread of cookies. Oatmeal raisin, white chocolate macadamia nut, and chocolate chip. I had dark chocolate in my trail mix today so I wasn't feeling it too much, but the white chocolate macadamia nut cookie was calling my name. I said, "Oh, those cookies...they're killing me!" This was after I ate a quarter of one; I knew if I didn't have a bite, I would eventually ransack the tray! LOL One of the older gals, the unit secretary, was in earshot and got this really disgusted, kind of haughty look on her face and said, "What? Don't you ever TREAT yourself?" And she chicken-necked at me. I'm sorry, but she did.

And I said, "Of course I do, if it's worth it. That's why I ate a piece of that cookie."

She said, "Just a PIECE? Can't you have the whole thing?"

Well...of course I can have the whole thing. But I don't want to. Because if I can be satisified by a piece, why should I eat the whole thing? If I "treated myself" every time I saw a piece of chocolate, or a pastry, or a cookie, I wouldn't have lost any weight. Treats are just that - they're treats. They're not snacks, they're not meal substitutions, they're not desserts. They're treats. And if you're treating yourself all day, every day, or after every meal, then it's not a treat anymore. It's just a part of your regular diet now. Just like fast food, chocolate, and cookies were a part of my diet before. Why does this seem to bother people so much? I don't judge ANYONE for what they eat, so why should I be judged for what I DON'T eat?

Also? Love this one. "How much more weight are you going to lose??? You're starting to look sickly."

I'm 233.8 pounds. That's hardly sickly. It's like people aren't happy unless you're busting out of your clothes and can't fit into chairs.

Anyway...there's my rant. LOL Sorry!

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Current Weight: 233.8

High Weight: 298.6

Goal Weight: 190

Total Lost: 64.8

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Okay, so I'm hovering. ;) But hey, I'm working through it!

Cheers!